Come play in my world for awhile!

Friday, March 13, 2009

I got the best job in the world!

Before I start, tell me if you can complete this sentence:


On Wednesday I was___________ .




A) Picking up our new kitten?

B) Thinking that I'd look hot in a bikini by summer if I'd quit blogging and start exercising already?

C) Studying techniques to keep my blog writing from wandering off on tangents?

D) Wondering if there was any Cabernet in the house or if I needed to pick some up?

None of those accurately completes the fragment above, but how many of them do you think are true?

On Wednesday I was at the school. Kind of a letdown after all that hype, huh? I was working in what is quickly becoming my favorite place, first grade, and they gave me the best. job. EVER. Wanna know what it was? I got to help the kids with their "All About Me" books. I needed to go over what they had written, help them fill in their thoughts, and tweak punctuation. The portion of the book I was assisting with was a brief autobiography of sorts. The kids had been instructed to include some tidbits such as when they were born, favorite things (food, sport, color, hobby), and maybe something they'd really like to do.

At first glance I didn't realize I'd been given such an awesome job. I'd gone through the drill with about 8 kids and my eyes were starting to cross and I was starting to get sleepy. I hadn't quite made it to the part where I start drooling. Basically I was at the beginning of my regular volunteer-coma.

My ninth student was a ridiculously-innocent-and-gullible-girl. We'll call her GG (gullible girl) for short. GG had written something about how she wanted to get a good sun tan. My job was to encourage them to add details so I started asking questions:

Me: Why do you want a good sun tan.

GG: Mommy and Daddy were getting one and it looked like so much fun. I want one, too!

Me: Okay, tell me about that. What part of getting the sun tan is fun? Is it being outside? Warm weather...?

GG: Oh no! You don't have to be outside to get a sun tan.

Me: Um... You really you do.

GG: No you don't. My mommy and Daddy were getting one in front of the fireplace the other night when I came downstairs after I got scared.

Me: I don't think they were suntanning GG. They were probably just warming up by the fire. Sometimes when you sit in front of the fireplace you get really warm and it feels kind of like you're toasting your skin, but it's really not -

GG: NO! Mommy said they were suntanning and that they were naked because they didn't want to get any tan lines.

- -Silence - -

Me: Oh GG... That is going to take a lot of explaining. I'm not sure if we have that much room on the paper. What's something else you'd really like to do...

Good thing we don't condone blackmail in the world according to me.

condron

59 comments:

Megryansmom said...

HA! Now who is going to help me clean up this spit up coffee?

Happy Friday everyone!

K said...

So funny - I love all the school posts.

I'm going to have to keep that line in the back of my head in case I need it - but I don't have a fireplace - darn it.

ScoMan said...

You know you don't even need a fireplace?

My mum and dad once suntanned in front of a heater. That's what they told me. But I've tried and it hasn't worked for me yet.

Someday, perhaps.

ymK said...

he he he. GG's Mom, good one.
And I'm sure your sleep vanished after child number 9, Kathy B.

Tsquared417 said...

Oh goodness...that's hilarious...I 'd love, love, love you to share that with the parents. Mortified!!

BTW, thanks for reading my blog and commenting. LOVE IT!

Cassie said...

Holy Cheese and crackers that was quick thinking on GG's moms part. Especailly since prolonged suntanning can dull the senses a bit. HeHe

Nocturnal Queen said...

"My mommy and Daddy were getting one in front of the fireplace the other night when I came downstairs after I got scared."

That was funny. I don't know what I would tell my kids if I were in that situation. I'm not that quick. :-/

3 Bay B Chicks said...

HA! You totally could have had some fun with GG's parents. Isn't there a parent e-mail distribution list that this post should be circulating around on?

Oh, and chosing exercising over blogging? Um, let's not do anything extreme right before the weekend. I saw your comment on PeeWee's site. I would just stick with what we do best and procrastinate.

-Francesca

Gibby said...

OK, you know people write LOL but you wonder if they really, did TRULY laugh out loud? Well, I did just now! I feel so sorry for poor GG's mom! Yikes. I agree, nice cover on her part!

Missed you yesterday!

Jen said...

Oh my that is funny and I must admit, one of my biggest fears but we don't have a fire place so I guess I don't have too much to fear.


I would LOVE to buy some hand-me-downs from you! Just reply to this comment and you will have my email address and we can discuss it. Thanks so much for the offer.

Leslie M said...

ROTFLMAO!!!

Creative Junkie said...

ROTF!!

That's actually pretty inventive story telling on behalf of the parents. I'm not sure I would have been so quick on my feet in the same position. ALL PUNS INTENDED.

Seeker said...

OMG...and the Oscar goes to....Sorry Kathy B but GG's mom just has to get one for that acting job.

~Thought's By Dena~ said...

oooh so that what Im doing wrong.....ok now I need to go and start working on my tan hehe GREAT POST!!!

4riddles said...

This is why I don't read books anymore...I can get the best crys from blog reading.
I was laughing so hard, I was crying!
Good Stuff!

Sturgmom said...

OH NO SHE DI'INT!!! Good lord, what do my kids say about me when they are at school? I'm probably glad I don't know. (Not that I've ever gone suntanning by the fireplace, but you know...)

Mama Wheaton said...

That's a great story, you could say something to the mom like "Hey I like your tan or are you getting ready for a Spring Break trip with that new tan? She probably wouldn't even get it but you'd be rolling on the floor with all your cleverness.

Minxy Mimi said...

HAHAHAHAHA
Very good job of covering up!
How funny that you got a much different take on things once you delved deeper!

Hillbilly Duhn said...

LMAO!!

Sturgmom had a good point. Wondering what my own children say about me at school....(Hanging my head) ACH! naw, don't even want to know!!!

blueviolet said...

Oh my gosh!!! Can you imagine how many teachers have heard the likes of this throughout the years??

LMAO!!!

Mary K Brennan said...

You're right. You have the best job. I remember asking one of my Kindergarten kids a couple of years ago to journal about their parents jobs. When I asked about his drawing he told me: "My Mom is a teacher. My Dad just drinks beer."
I love your school post. Kids say the funniest of things!

ck said...

Any chance you'll ever meet this mom? Do you know her already? I don't know if I'd be able to keep a straight face, or resist the urge to compliment her on her tan...

daisigirl said...

Oh my! I am so glad this has never happened to me! Happy Friday!

Kristina P. said...

Teachers always hear the best stuff!!

Grand Pooba said...

No way! That is priceless I love it! Quick thinking parents...yeah right.

Oh to be a kid again!

Yaya said...

Hahahahahaha! Priceless!

tlc said...

Too funny! Aren't these blogable moments just the best? I agree w/ ck..if you ever meet this mom, you should definately compliment her on her tan! Ha!

LadyFi said...

That's hilarious!

Erin H said...

This is what I love about being a teacher- I always tell the parents, I'll only believe half of what they tell me if you only believe half of what they come home ane tell you.

Helene said...

That is hilarious...I could just picture your jaw hitting the ground!!! And I have to give credit to the parents, that's one heck of an excuse to give the kiddos when they catch you in the act!!!

Kate said...

That is hilarious. I could see kids going for it too. Those parents were real quick to come up with that one. I love your blog and I will definitely be back.

Susie said...

Too funny!!

~Thought's By Dena~ said...

you have an award waiting for you go to my site and get it....have yourself a super week-end!!!

countryfriedmama said...

Okay, that's it. My kids are never going to school. Not that my husband and I are doing a lot of "suntanning" in the living room, but these stories are scaring me!

D said...

I'm so glad you're weren't doing C) on Wednesday.

I love your tangents.

Suburban Turmoil said...

Best story I've heard today. :)

Zeemaid said...

*L* I just love your school stories. I can't believe kids actually say these things!

I'm so glad you share them.

San said...

HAHAHAHAHA! Oh, the things kids say! And yeah - that IS an awesome job. It's gonna be very 'blog-worthy'! :)

Court said...

She comes from a den of love doesn't she? Sorry. Couldn't resist.

Nana said...

Oh, I am so glad sweet little GG does't know what was really going on, she would have been mad if she knew they were really roasting marshmallows w/o her.

Yes, little Izzy is a cutie and very much in charge.

faemom said...

Best Post EVER! OMG That was worth the wait, waiting for you to blog, waiting for the boys to sleep. Note to self: make sure all doors are firmly locked next time we . . . um . . suntan.

Ink said...

KB, that is freakin' hilarious! I must say, those parents were quick-witted to offer that description!

ps: You don't have to do the meme unless you want to. But [said in cajoling voice] there's no writing...just picking of words!

pps: How come your readership just zoomed off the charts lately? I mean, aside from the fact that you're a wonderful blogger. Because you've *always* been a wonderful blogger. And some of us were fans before you went all mainstream and sold out (oh, wait, I'm displacing my angst about being a U fan before, like, everyone else discovered them, too, so ignore that last part). ;) But seriously, what's your secret?

bernthis said...

ok, that was hilarious. How did you manage not to burst out laughing? What a great story

The Blonde Duck said...

That poor kid. She's going to start stripping down in front of fireplaces for a tan now...

Just Me said...

That was funny as hell!!

Seph (just an everyday mum)

Jonny's Mommy said...

And to think...mommy and daddy were probably happy to finally get some time alone and there their kid was interrupting them again. Dang it all to heck and....Um.....What? I don't know anything about stuff like that...I'm just saying that could be what was going on and...well, funny either way! :-)

Sapphire said...

That is priceless!
Hmmmm.....somehow I don't think my daughter would buy this story. lol!!!

CynthiaK said...

That's brilliant. I don't think I could have pulled that excuse off on my daughter, but I'll definitely keep that one in mind...

: ) said...

Love this KathyB! Love you!

I told you long ago that if you could tell your stories everyone would listen... you can thank me later!!!!!

Ink said...

Um...that was supposed to say "U2 fan" in my post. And...also, perhaps I should have started that post by saying congratulations that people are seeing your awesomeness, too! :)

parentingBYdummies said...

WOW! Not much else I can say. I think I would've let her write it though just to see how the whole thing played out. I don't think it's fair that I'm the only one around here suffering public humiliation at the hands of the littll people.

Juls said...

that's awesome, I wonder what my kids have told teachers..

Becca said...

I just laughed so hard. This is too funny. Kids say the funniest things! It always makes me wonder what my kids say about us when they go to school although none of my kids have caught us... umm... sun tanning!

Becca

Please visit me at http://www.askbecca.com

Lana said...

Okay.. first, i have to admit I have not read this post. I am at my mom's house using her computer, as I'm internetless till saturday.I saw your comment on my blog and feel SO HORRIBLE!!!!! I swear on all that is packed in boxes that i USED to be a follower of yours, and have NO CLUE why I'm not listed as a "follower" anymore. I LOVE you!! You're one of the most faithful commenters and still did so even though I failed!! Seriously. I'm hanging my head in shame. As of next weekend, consider your self stalked. ☺ I'm so SORRY!!!! I REALLY thought I was following you!!!

Debbie said...

That is too cute! What will you do when you see those parents next?
And nice new look around here!

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