Come play in my world for awhile!

Friday, February 27, 2009

Who's in charge around here anyway

My eight year old is is rarely difficult to deal with. I'm hoping this bodes well for the future... so it surprised me the other day when she addressed me with an undertone of... sass. Wanting Needing to nip this in the bud I immediately informed her that it was not okay for her to speak to me in that tone of voice. I spoke a little bit more sharply than I intended, and in an effort to diffuse the situation with a bit of levity I quickly morphed into one of my ridiculous-over-the-top-mommy-personas. I puffed out my chest and did my best impersonation of what I think the monopoly guy would sound like. I told her, "You're not the one in charge around here, missy. Oh no, no. Who is the boss around here anyway?"

My silly theatrics worked. She was smiling as I blustered around the kitchen. I started giving her a good tickle and questioned her again, "Who's the boss missy?" As my daughter shrieked with laughter she gasped out her answer............. "Obama."

Well, that wasn't exactly the answer I was looking for. He may be the leader of the free world but only I, KathyB!, control the world according to me. I let it go and vowed to work on defining the person(s) running our household.

Clearly I need a new tactic, but what? I decided to mull it over. You know how when you don't obsess over something the answer just - POOF! - appears? Well that's exactly what happened. Not two hours later I was sitting at my computer and found Rosario Dawson's (as told to the New York Times) account of how her mother disciplined her:

"My mom licked me - that was her punishment. If I was a little uppity or if I didn’t listen or if she wanted to get my attention, she’d lick the side of my face or under my armpit. My mom’s a six-foot-tall amazon and she’d say, ‘’You came out of my vagina and I own every part of you,’’ and she’d lick me like I was her wee pup and she was a lioness. It was humiliating and really intense. Very primal. It’s not spanking, but it definitely works."

Holy mother of wolves! That is some nasty stuff. When my children were babies I used to gum on their little chubby arms and legs. I even fell asleep while nursing and slobbered on their heads a couple times (okay, that actually happened a lot but I didn't do it on purpose). But I never licked them. I'm not even going to get in to the part about her armpits. Eww.

So given a choice between licking my children as a means to demonstrate my dominance and maintaining the status quo...?



This is me singing "Hail to the Chief."

45 comments:

K said...

WOW - that is a new one.

Armpits? That's a bit farther than I'm willing to go.

TGIF!

(And you should totally set up google reader - it makes blog stalking so much more easier.)

Megryansmom said...

Maybe the cheek or top of the hand, but licking the armpit? Ewww gross!

K said...

Sorry - one more bit on google reader - if you follow blogs they will automatically show up in your reader - you don't have to do any extra work to add them. Sometimes it takes a day or two for them to appear, but they will eventually.

Mimi said...

Just stoppy by from SITS.

Whew, I was worried you were gonna agree with that creepy licking thing & I was gonna have to run screaming from your blog, lol!

Tsquared417 said...

That is something new....hmmm...I may have to try it. What if your kids liked it though? I could totally see my kids thinking it was funny instead and then I'd be licking them for nothing...geez...

Cairo Typ0 said...

Licking the armpit?! Ewww! I'm pretty sure there are better alternatives than that out there.

evenshine said...

%0
(That's me staring in speechless shock that people lick others' armpits.)
Nice.

Kristina P. said...

Ummm, I think you should stick with your less icky parenting techniques.

Mary K Brennan said...

I am a mother of 2 boys. By the time I get them in the bath at night, they consist of a buffet of disgust. I love them dearly, but licking them is right up there with signing my own death certificate.
The Obama response was priceless!

Heather said...

Licked her armpit??? I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.

Susie said...

You are so funny!! Ok, you are my new best friend. I am adding you to my list:-)

Leslie M said...

Ewww!

Carina Gardner said...

I love that the boss if Obama. Kids! :) and the armpit...I think the ladies in front of me are right on...woe, disgusting!

Mama Krit said...

haha! Well, hey, if it works! :) I do enjoy a good belly nibble now and again on my girls, that usually leads to laughing, not sure if I'm up for an armpit lick though. :)

countryfriedmama said...

It's great that you use humor in tense situations with your kids. So much more effective than getting angry, but not always easy to do.

The licking? Hilarious.

Meg said...

Yeah, um, if my mother had licked me as punishment, I am fairly certain that I would have walked away very quietly and laid low until, say, I was 23 JUST TO BE SURE IT NEVER HAPPENED AGAIN.

This is my first visit here. Should I continue reading? Hmmmm...

Semi-Slacker Mom said...

Considering the looks of 4 yr old son's when he usually gets in trouble, that's just gross! The armpits, that's freaky!

You need to thank your lucky stars your daughter doesn't sass. My 7 year old, however picks up her slack!

ScoMan said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog!

I'd just like to say, the Monopoly guy is my hero, so you win many points with the picture, and then with the voice.

And I couldn't think of anyone licking my niece to punish her. She'd probably giggle and love it.

Stesha said...

Armpits aren't my thing:)

BTW-I could never fire you. Who would be my voice of reason?

Hugs and Mocha,
Stesha

Christie-A Work In Progress said...

Licking...wow...dont think I will go there. Yikes! Cute post! Your blog is getting a bit addictive...think I'll follow and make it easy on myself. Thanks for stopping by mine!

Tiffany said...

Licking - that is just weird!

Minxy Mimi said...

OMG!!! Thats so primal! I MIGHT do it until puberty...then no way. But I think I would rather say Hail to the chief myself!!!

Ink said...

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww. Just ewww.
And I am *so relieved* that you didn't say, Licking: What A Great Idea! at the end of your post.

Court said...

Holy mother of wolves. That was great. And what's wrong with licking? Seriously, my kid has the sweetest little head and I can't help myself. It's like a popsicle. But I don't get the whole reverse-psychology thing in using it as warfare. That's so uncool to us lickers.

3 Bay B Chicks said...

You crack me up, Kathy B! Once we put Wenda to rest tomorrow night, I am confident her spirit will live on through you.

I saw your comments both on Forever Folding Laundry and Hillbilly Duhn today. Made me laugh out loud. Seriously funnier than the posts.

As testament to my new-found adoration to you, we're following!

-Francesca

Meg said...

Offended? Never! Okay well, the armpit licking is a little gross, but I love weird!

Will definitely be back, neighbor!

ck said...

hahahahaha! wow - I don't think I could do that without laughing (and/or gagging) and ruining any chance of credibility I thought I had.

Just Me said...

Hahaha! Obama! That's an awesome anwswer! Kinda sounds like something my kids would say hehe.

As for licking armpits? eww! I just tell my kids that until they are 18, I am their God and they WILL obey me while in my house or I'll make 'em pay for everything from Food to clothing.

So far it's terrified the heck out of them!

Just Me said...

Hahaha! Obama! That's an awesome anwswer! Kinda sounds like something my kids would say hehe.

As for licking armpits? eww! I just tell my kids that until they are 18, I am their God and they WILL obey me while in my house or I'll make 'em pay for everything from Food to clothing.

So far it's terrified the heck out of them!

I am Harriet said...

How fun!
Just stopping by via SITS to say hello!

peewee said...

I mean, yah, that would have actually STOPPED my shoplifting habit. Just my mother SAYING vagina mighta done the trick too.

Zeemaid said...

that was a great post. Licking? Way too bizarre. But does it work... hmmmm?

Undercover-Princess said...

Don't you hate it when they try and get all technical on ya? My kid is still too smart for his own good. I always hoped public school would dumb him down, but to no avail...

I used to be REALLY cool to my niece. She turned 14 right before Thanksgiving...and on Thanksgiving Day I suddenly became a moron.

Sturgmom said...

I think I'm afraid that licking my children would sort of be the equivalent of licking a restaurant table top in a public arena. My boys are so filthy, sometimes I'm wary to hug them, much less LICK! Interesting.

Juls said...

I've taken some pretty crazee parental discipline action...but I don't think I'd do that...but hmm, if it works... I'm kidding!

forever folding laundry said...

Uh...really? Licking? That's a new one for me!

Debbie said...

I haven't ever heard of that tactic. I just tell my youngest that he can never develop an attitude. And that is that!

Vodka Mom said...

now THAT was brilliant.......

Gibby said...

Wow. Just. Wow. I leave town for a couple of days and I come back to licking. Yikes!! Once again, you made me laugh out loud, KathyB!!!!!

Jen said...

Um, yeah I want to be the supreme mother ruler and all but not with licking, yuck.

blueviolet said...

I'm with you on no licking. That's just not right in any way. I'm glad you stopped by yesterday. I like your place and I'm stickin' around.

Nana said...

You gotta admit, Obama was a funny answer.

Now back to the licking, just one lick or two because I am doing it damnit or damn it, whatever. People are going to get licked around here pronto!

Becca said...

Well KathyB. this was full of so many things that I have to address! The first is that you are VERY lucky that your daughter is not all that sassy at 8. My 8 year old has been sassy for years now. I certainly do not accept it though! We live in the suburbs on New York City and I think that there is just far too much sass around here now! The other thing I wanted to mention is that I think that you handled the situation great! I tend to be sassy back which is never a lesson learned. The last thing that I wanted to say is ewwww!!! Who does that!!!! No licking in this house! I think if I did the kids would retaliate and lick me back and I certainly do not want that to happen!

Becca

Please visit me at http://www.askbecca.com

faemom said...

See, I'm trying to teach Evan NOT to lick when he decides he's a puppy. If I licked him as punishment, I think it would only confuse the situation. But we ought to work on something . . . hmm . . . is biting the back of the neck too much like licking?

Anonymous said...

Good day


A balance must be achieved between the desire for innovative design and the realities of traditional operating and maintenance practices. Durability, ease of maintenance and material innovation are all incorporated into Mansour Engineering approach.

[url=http://www.mansour.ca] click here to go to Mansour Engineering[/url]


http://www.mansour.ca