I'm rollin' in the money, baby

It's hard to escape news of government stimulus packages and bailouts. I was reading an article that suggested that the bailout "...will cost about $6,500 per U.S. family, a little over $2,000 per person... and raise the public debt limit to $11.3 trillion dollars. That’s $116,000 per family, or $37,000 per person, in total governmental debt." These aren't new figures but every time I see/hear them they make my hair stand on end.

I honestly try not to spend (spend!! so punny!!) too much time agonizing over the numbers. Right now it feels as though a chain of events has been set into motion and the only thing to do is step aside and let it play out. But still... those numbers are haunting.

Don't ask me to explain the logic behind my thought processes, but the whole economic turmoil got me thinking about a letter to the IRS that flew across the Internet some years ago. I did a quick Google search, and voila:

Dear IRS,

Enclosed is my 1997 tax return and payment. Please take note of the attached article from the USA Today newspaper. In the article, you will see that the Pentagon is paying $171.50 for hammers and NASA has paid $600.00 for a toilet seat. Please find enclosed four toilet seats (value $2400) and six hammers (value $1029). This brings my total payment to $3429.00. Please note the overpayment of $22.00 and apply it to the 'Presidential Election Fund', as noted on my return.

It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look forward to paying it again next year.

Sincerely,

Disgruntled of Oklahoma.

With the mind splitting logic that only applies in the world according to me I came to a brilliant conclusion. If Disgruntled in Oklahoma could pay with toilet seats and hammers, then I ought to be able to deduct my unused portion of the bailout from my income tax return. Tit for tat, right?! And since there are six members in my household that should give me a credit of roughly $222,000.

Now that's a nice way to end the week. Just as soon as I get that refund check I'm taking all of my bloggy friends out for dinner and drinks.

Anxiously awaiting the mailman,

KathyB!