Remind me why I do this again?

Today I was volunteering at the school. Normally I help the first graders with writing, but today the children were engrossed with preparations for Valentine's Day. Instead of helping the kids I was handed a mountainous stack of worksheets that needed to be put in proper order and collated. My thoughts on this? Dear Lord I've died and gone to hell. I'm assuming this is some sort of cosmic retribution for body checking my daughter over the weekend... sigh.

I took my mess over to a corner of the classroom to be far away from activity. The last thing I wanted was one of the kids buzzing through and causing me to start over again. I was engrossed in the task and working somewhat happily when the teacher approached and apologized for giving me such a crappy job. We chatted for a minute, and the teacher abruptly stopped mid-sentence. Apparently she'd just noticed that I'd been sitting on the linoleum for the last half hour and she quickly offered to clear table space for me so that I would be more comfortable.

In the midst of this conversation a student had sidled up to the teacher with a question. He waited patiently for a break in the conversation.

I insisted I was fine sitting on the floor, and that's when the little boy chose to jump in and say, "I think she'll be okay down there." The teacher turned and noted, in a somewhat surprised voice, that sitting on the hard, linoleum floor for a long time could get really uncomfortable. He looked at her with a serious, intent expression and said, "It's okay. Mrs. B'll be okay down there. She's got a nice cushion." The teacher and I both looked at where I was sitting, and looked back at the little boy with questions clearly written on our faces. There were no cushions on the floor, or anywhere else in the classroom for that matter. He looked from me to the teacher and then back again before he said, "Well, not big like your cushion teacher, but I think she'll be okay down there. It's not like she's all skinny and bony." We both must have been stunned into silence, and that probably unnerved him because he followed that little zinger with, "Oh man, was that bad manners? It's not like I said you have a big butt teacher. I said your cushion is big."

I've already had my wardrobe insulted. If those little monkeys go after my physique I might have to consider early retirement. I'm just not certain if it's considered retirement if I was only volunteering to start with.