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Thursday, February 26, 2009

The big O

I'm back to last Friday. If you're just tuning in you might want to check here first and then here so you know why this was the proverbial icing on the cake. There was just so much good stuff that happened that day... I haven't even blogged about the kid and his Spiderman hat.

This time I'm in the 5th grade working on a writing project. The kids have a writing prompt. They are given a location (science lab), and a science project (their choice) and they're supposed to create a science-fiction story. This is an on-going project and some kids have written multiple chapters.

As I moved through the classroom I was impressed with the concepts that some of the students had the imagination to create and explore. One girl had her hand up and asked me to read an excerpt. I don't have a photographic memory but it's sorta etched on my brain. It might not be verbatim, but it's close:

"The scientist was shocked by her orgasm. It was much better than she thought it would be. She had been planning this for years and the other scientists were surprised by her orgasm, too."

At this point I stopped reading. The fifth graders are having the "puberty" talk at school next week and all things sex ed. have been on my mind lately. Trust me, there will be another post about that. Anyway, I read orgasm and all rational thought left my brain. Orgasm?! Why does this crap only happen when the teacher is gone? What do I say? Can I run screaming from the building? I did not sign up for this!















I am 100% certain that I turned into a marble statue. Motionless. Incapable of response.

And then the child spoke, "Mrs B! ?! What do you think? In my final chapter the characters are going to find out that the organism can cure all diseases. Is it too soon for me to let on that she was surprised by what her organism can do?"

Dear God, she wrote orgasm when she meant organism.... It was all just a type-o.

Is there anything left to say?

I didn't think so either...

33 comments:

Kathy B! said...

Wenda stopped by today before I could get this post up and she's in yesterday's comments ;)

Megryansmom said...

Well that was a tad awkward. Thanks for the laugh!

Debbie said...

I just love each and every one of these school stories since I have been in the trenches too! This one does take the cake:)

Tina said...

Oh my gosh. That's hilarious! How do you respond to something like that?!

Gibby said...

Ummm, yikes, that is a little uncomfortable! What did you say? Did you just spell it for her? Or did you let her leave it like that? Did you actually say orgasm out loud? Awkward is right!! But hilarious at the same time. All these posts have been so gosh darn funny!

Cairo Typ0 said...

I would have been dying!!! haha Good for you for holding together! Although i'd be pretty proud of all the other scientists were impressed with my orgasm. LOL

BTW, I will def write something new about saftey on my blog in the coming weeks. If you go back to mid november you'll find a post i did about the differences between safety here and Nairobi. :)

ck said...

Dear Orgasm Girl:

If you find a way to bottle and sell your scientific discovery, you will be richer than Oprah.

Sincerely,
CK

PS: Rock on, KathyB, rock on!

countryfriedmama said...

I will never read that Shel Silverstein story again without thinking about this story. Too funny.

Brandy said...

That could have turned out so much worse. LOL!

I've come to answer your ad questions since you don't have your email available (do you know how to fix this? I can help!)

I've already made about $100 from BlogHer and I just put the google ones on my page. Adsense doesn't pay out until you reach $100 so it takes a little longer to see any money but you don't have to do anything so I don't mind.

Yes, all you have to do is click. You don't need to go any further...

I say go for it! And remember if you share the clicky love others will return it.

TL said...

Over from SITS! That is a great story. You really can't make that kind of stuff up, can you?

Kristina P. said...

You can totally link to my blog! Share the Snuggie love, is what I say!! :)

evenshine said...

And here I thought you were going to talk about Overstock.com.
This is way, way better.

Grand Pooba said...

Oh my god I am cracking up! I would simply die!

Zeemaid said...

I'm beginning to sound like a broken record.. but that was hysterical! I just love these school stores.

I gave you an award today. So if you like.. stop by my page and pick it up. :) Wow.. I'm giving out my first award!

Hillbilly Duhn said...

That was halarious!!!!! Oh my goodness, so did you spell it correctly for her or did you just let her keep that spelling??????

Dropping in to quench my Wenda addiction!

Have a great day!

Stesha said...

Kathy, I almost fell out of the chair when I read this:) You handled it better than I, because I would have ran from the classroom screaming.

Hugs and Mocha,
Stesha

Tsquared417 said...

I knew where that one was going b/c something similar happened in my 8th grade science class and I'll never forget it. This girl, Crystal (see I still remember who it was 20 years later!), raises her hand and starts talking about the orgasm! Of course, we were in 8th and not 5th grade, so we all knew what it was and we were dying!! Thanks for sharing...love it!

K said...

HA HA HA!

I can't wait until my son hits school. That really was quite a day you had.

Carina Gardner said...

OMG, I love it! I had a little chuckle in my office! Of course, it happened when the teacher left! BTW, your comment on my blog was the nicest thing to see today! Thanks so much! You made my day!

Jen said...

Wow, that is really something. I can't imagine what it was like in person I was totally shocked just reading it.

Mama Krit said...

Hahaha! Kids say and do the most outrageous things!

I came to leave you clicky love, but it looks like you don't have ads on your page? Am I totally blind?

lisalyn said...

Thanks for the tip on looking for Wenda.

You sure do have some very interesting experiences at your school. Goodness! :)

The Blonde Duck said...

Oh my God! I wouldn't have known what to do either!

Semi-Slacker Mom said...

Spelling counts! :)

Susie said...

That is too funny!!

Thanks for stopping by my blog and leaving such sweet comments. I hope to see you back there soon:-)

Mary K Brennan said...

You have to appreciate the innocence of children. Wait until she finds out just how on the money she was. Orgasms sometimes surprise me as well. Great job at holding it together. I would have went right in to silly mode.

Minxy Mimi said...

OMG, I would have DIED on the spot. I am glad it was a misprint. YIKES!

Nana said...

That just cracked me up. I think the story would have been more intersting if scientists were examining her orgasm, but since it was from a 5th grader I am soooooo happpy it was a spelling error. How on earth did you just not die!

forever folding laundry said...

That is the funniest thing EVER. Don't you know her mother would just die if you told her?!?!

~Keri

Juls said...

Baahhaaahahahahaha! I love this. I also substitute teach... and I had a boy who wrote a story about all of the mean sharks at school, he insisted I read it, and this is the synopsis... he was a fish and the sharks were mean to him every day he made friends with the dolphins, and he & his dolphin friends made shark sushi...and they all ate it, and loved it, and the sharks were never mean to him again. Because they were dead. The End.

I'm pretty sure I'm never going to be mean to that kid...

April said...

oh dear!!!

peewee said...

THAT is too too funny!!!!! HAHAHHAHAHAHAH! I am still giggling.

faemom said...

LOL OMG LOL
I hope you told her to keep her draft for many years. IT'll be nice for her to read it once she actually knows what an orgasm is and how cool you were to handle it that way.