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Wednesday, February 18, 2009

The magical hat

Today was the 100th day of school and, of course, I volunteered in the classroom. I swear I don't know what I'd blog about if I didn't do something at the school every day.

The 100th Day activities were uneventful. The kids had fun. The kids ate cake. The kids made hats proclaiming their pride in being 100 days smarter.

Mission accomplished.

We were lined up in the hallway after centers and preparing to go to music. There was a class of older kids in the hallway with us and they were oohing and ahhing and making complimentary comments about the kids' hats. The first graders were starry-eyed at the attention being lavished upon them by the older kids.

I wasn't prepared for what happened next. A woman was coming down the hallway. She was blond, dressed in tennis clothes, appeared to have an artificially enhanced bust, and she was giggly and loud. You know the type. Our school has silent hallways (it sounds creepy, but I've grown to see the brilliance in the concept) so her loudness was extra-noticeable. I try not to be judgemental but this woman truly was like some sort of caricature magically brought to life.

I noticed her and dismissed her in the same instant. The older kids had a different reaction:

Girl #1: Wow... like, WOW!

Girl#2: Um, yeah.

Girl#1: She seriously needs a hat (in reference to the I'm 100 days smarter today hat).

Girl #2: Um, no. They tried to give her a hat, but her teacher took it away. There is no way she's getting a hat.

Girl #1: She'd be making the little kids look bad if she got a hat.

And then there was me: smiling in vindication. Suddenly, my faith in humanity -- restored.

Note: I was with Emily's class, not Abby's when this all went down. They're identical twins so I thought I could pull it off. But I guess with Abby's name printed on the hat it was a bit obvious... and this wasn't the hat from Emily's class. Emily was not up for photography, though...


Anonymous said...

I just hope the girls stay so smart through junior high.

That's awesome.

Debbie said...

So what was her purpose there? People who are loud in the hallways make me nervous!

Kathy B! said...

I'm assuming that she was someone's mom, although I'm at the school so much that I know most everyone - at least by sight - and she didn't ring any bells.

My other assumption is that she got lost on her way to the bleached-blond-barbie tennis bonanza. She didn't look like she had much going on North of her shoulders (which explains how she ended up at the school) and it's the only explanation I can offer for her appearance.

Gibby said...

LOL, that is hysterical! Sounds like there are some smart kids at that school! Hope she doesn't join the PTA...

P.S. Poonch has those same PJs. Love that Children's Place.

Jen said...

that is hysterical!!!!

ck said...

Dear Kathy B!

I wish you would have stopped her.

That woman was loud and giggly because she stole my breasts and hasn't been spotted since Greensboro.

If you see her again, please have her hogtied and let my girls know I'll be down to pick them up in 9 hours.

Many thanks,

Anonymous said...

(There's ck beeing so-damn-clever again.)
Such smart girls; it's nice to know we all started that way.

Kathy B! said...


((Insert something funny here))

((Insert laughter from readers here))

I've got nothing! But if I find your girls you have to give me advance notice so I can come and see your next stand-up routine ;)


Becca said...

This is too funny! Emma and Abigail also had their 100th day of school. I was disappointed to hear that Abigail's 3rd grade class did nothing to celebrate. Emma's class each brought in 100 things, walked 100 steps, wrote small words that were found in the word 100 and yes they also got hats! Thanks for the great smile yet again!


Minxy Mimi said...

Oh Dear! I know the type well and am glad I am not one of them!

Anonymous said...

You are sooo busted! I was with you and it was EMILY's class and that's Abby in the pic!!!! DOn't tell me you've got your twins confused?!?!?!

Anonymous said...

If she only had a brain....

Then she could be a good role model instead of a trophy wife role model.

Nana said...

Hmmmm. She sounds like trouble and yes I do know the type.

Brenda Jean said...

Stopped by to welcome you to SITS. BAAHAHAHAHAHAHa That is the best story. I love kids! I volunteer at my daughter's school too. She's in 3rd grade. By the way, I love the hats!