You know how it goes... The kids are home from school. The house that was pristine not 30 minutes ago has been transformed into a war zone littered with last weeks homework papers, shoes, announcements from the school, dirty socks, and lunch boxes. The kids are hungry and a little bit grouchy after a long day at school. I, on the other hand, am very hungry and grouchy after a long day of starvation (1200 calories is not adequate) and laundry.
I ask, for the 9,000th time, the kids to pick up their freakin' crap that literally seems to cover every square inch of the kitchen - even the floor stuff. As the kids slowly begin gathering their belongings I can literally feel grumpiness oozing from my pores. Because really, it's like Groundhog Day, and we seem to need to replay this exact scene every. single. day.
In a move not destined to win me Mother of the Year I begin griping at the kids:
At this point I had taken my rant inside my head where it belongs and wasn't really paying attention.
Note to self: In the future do not end rants with rhetorical questions that beg to be answered with unflattering comments.
I almost didn't notice when Rachel said:
Her comment floated in the air momentarily as we locked eyes. I gave her my fiercest evil-mommy-death-stare, and then I sent her to her room for being sassy.
As she glumly plodded up the stairs I could hear her mumbling to herself that those are the kind of comments you're supposed to say in your head, and not out loud.
And I could hear the other three giggling softly around the corner...
57 comments:
Day in and day out can just become a grind!!! Thank heavens the sun is coming for summer.
Now go clean a toilet!!! and cheer up!!!!
If only the mommy stare could like physically make them do what you wanted them to do in the first place!
Ahh the joy of girls, wait til you're all PMS-ing together. Oh sorry my comments are supposed to be encouraging. Yeah ok so, um well there'll be that time when, um no, oh how about when they all, nope not that either.
Oh well, carry on and Happy Tuesday. Oh yeah, they'll be at school for a few hours today, that should be good.
I won't even tell you about the go 'round I'm in the middle of with the thirteen year old...
Oh you were asking for trouble with that question.
I must admit, I am guilty of making the comment when i was younger "It would be good if mum went away more often" and not realising there was anything wrong with saying that.
But in my defence, dad had given us take away and taken us to the football. And I was young, and didn't get such treats very often.
sigh. thats what my house looks like too... and it happens so fast
tracy
It's the constant hamster-wheel-groundhog-day that gets to me. I think we need summer!!
BTW, I love your new profile pic. And, be sure to check out Hot Dads...you were selected as a Hot Mama!! I nominated you...not sure if I was the only one, but you got it! You're HOT!!
Throw that in your kids face, see???
I have a husband who is incapable of picking up after himself so i feel you on this one. I went away for two months and when i returned there were items that had not been moved so much as a millimeter! Literally!
I have the pleasure of inheriting my Mom's evil eye - my daughter knows when she gets it, she's in trouble.
I also have the pleasure of my daughter inheriting my need to make snarky comments.
I'm going to be in over my head too! Who am I kidding, I already am!
Oh yes, the back talk to the retro question... I LOVE those. It makes me want to go on a soap in your mouth spree. :)
When I give out the mommy evil stare, I get a "I was just kidding" No, no you weren't, now take you and your mouth to your room!
Ah yes. I believe this exact dialog has occurred in my house too!
Oh, the sass! Why must it exist??
KB!, I was over my head the day I popped the first girl out! If it makes you feel any better, it is the same scene over here. But add in a 30-something Hubby who has to have the same reminders delivered to him every day. Honestly, sometimes I don't know how I live with these people.
I feel your pain sister, I feel your pain!
Your kids need a union. It is never too early to organize.
What goes around comes around.Remember the box in the basement? You`ll servive. Love MOM
Remember that those things called children grow up and will determine what nursing home gets to have you. Enjoy your power while it lasts. :p
Yup, thanks to my kids (and husband) my house usually looks like a tornado has blown through it.
And I agree, 1200 calories is NOT enough.
yikes. i'm gonna have really big problems with my girls. they give the evil eye right back to me. and they are 2. not a good sign.
Right there with you! I don't call my oldest Sassy for nothing & the 2 year old is falling right into her footsteps!
Oh, man. I am really not looking forward to the teen years! It will get better when they're in college, though, I hear.... *Sigh*
~Keri
It's fun to know these conversations are happening all over the US!
I have resorted to big storage buckets with each of their names on them. If something stays on the floor too long...in to the bucket it goes. Until I decide when it can return to their care.
(They really thought I was joking when I showed them the buckets last week.)
And I agree with the PMS comment. My husband is already planning his escape from that. (And you have double what we do!)
Not that I am happy others are too suffering it is always reassuring to hear I am not alone in this EXACT same episode. This scene move by move and almost word by word played out in my house end of last week!
congrats on the Hot mama award!
That's your girl!
You love it just the same!
She is very smart to know that her remark should have stayed in her head!
She's got cheek!
I thought I had forgotten so much of those early years
.
Thanks to you, I remember!
I am sure this is why God gives us grand kids.
It's the gift we get for having raised kids.
:)
Isn't our job to nag. I mean really, if it wasn't done by us, do you think Daddies would do it? As for the comment, I think she knew she was going to meet trouble as soon as those words left her mouth. The giggling from the other 3 was just nerves....they knew they were next! Bet that place is spotless.
It makes me mental!!! You would think that the kids would get the point after watching me follow them around the house, picking all of their shit up after them....but NO. They continue on...leaving a trail behind them. Then wonder why my fuse is so short.
The same scenario happens at our house each day. As I yell at the kids to pick up their things, they get upset and say that I yell at them everyday. Duh? Pick up your stuff and then I won't.
So is the moral here that you need to finish your thoughts out loud and she needs to finish her thoughts in her head?
I'm pretty sure I would have lost it. Oh wait....that HAS happened to me, and I DID lose it, as it turns out. Sometimes those quick-witted kids come back with something that's a tad dangerous to utter around me. I wonder where they get their sarcasm....
when I do the ranting in my head, Hayden will often say, "Mom will you let me know when your lines go up again." (he is talking about my frown lines. little punk)
Being a mom is so hard!
Some days...........they win.
Fact of life.
Love the new picture!!
My kids leave a mess everywhere too. So does my husband. :-/ Thankfully there hasn't been any sassing. If they know what's good for them, there won't be. But I'm not counting on it.
I'd get an airhorn. And a Austrailian Shepard. We had one and she literally would herd us and make us march in a line. It'd be quite handy...
I could've written that ten years ago. Truthfully, I could have written it last week. The only difference between 10-year-olds and 20-year-olds is that their backpacks get heavier and their shoes get bigger. I have tried every threat known to woman. I have even put their stuff out on the back step. Nada.
Were you at my house yesterday? I could swear I had the same rant with my kids. It's a daily thing around here...one day I said, "I'm so tired of hearing my voice say the same things over and over again". My daughter looked at me all seriously and said, "Mommy, so are we". It's a good thing they're cute or I surely would've sold them all on E-Bay by now (Buy 2, Get 2 Free)
so not looking forward to that part of the next 10 years...
You mean none of the cleaning rules are going to sink in. That I'm just wasting time coaxing them to put away their stuff. I thought if I started early they wouldn't turn into the husband who obviously never learned to pick up after himself after the millionth time of not finding his wallet. Oh, dang.
First, your new avatar photo? Beautiful!
Second, I swear that today, I WOKE UP having the same train of thought. It goes on every dang day, but to wake up with them was really setting the bar high for myself today! It is exhausting coming into a room and seeing whatever awaits, knowing that the day before (or even the hour before), you'd had the same conversations with your kids about helping, etc. I'm definitely in your corner here!
Do you know what happens when the kids are gone? When your an empty nester? I do. Your husband turns into a pig. He'll be leaving a trail when he comes in from work. Work boots, socks, shirt, pants - all leading to the bathroom. It never ends. We are moms and wives and it never ends!!
Have a blessed day!!
First of all I want to tell you that I love the new picture! You look darling!
My daughter is just getting to this stage also. She reminds me that she will be 13 in November. She is also just a hair shorter than I am now! Oh Boy, here we go!
Both cupcakes are just killer! You should make some for your girls in exchange for a little housework help! :0)
The kids I nanny for always want to "play" with me and I say 'ok, as soon as you stop making messes so I can stop cleaning up I'll have time to play'. They seem to get it.
Love your blog! I have an award waiting for you at my blog. Please stop by and get it.
Tisha
Sounds like my house hold! YIKES! it's nice to know we all are riding in the same banana boat to craziness! Happy Tuesday!
You have been warned. Kids, you gotta love em cause you can't nail their door shut.... anymore.
Oh, my... you are in for it.
Do you give video lessons on the "Evil Mommy Death Stare" somewhere? Because I'd like to see that in action. ;)
I like your new profile pic, btw.
I have been working on a move akin to the Spock nerve pinch that will be able to be used on children of varying ages. With a simple stare from a Vulcan Mommy, we'll be able to render kids unable to utter anything other than polite responses (always in the affirmative) while smiling and curtsy-ing. I'll let you know when I've got it mastered. :)
Came here from Braja's blog. I am a father of three and I can reveal the secret answer to this problem .....
It is ....
It is ....
It is .....
It is ........
Oh, just come round with Braja and you can judge for yourselves whether it works!
And I'll rustle up a BBQ while you're here.
I know this scenario so well. I sound just like my nagging sister or mom... sometimes it is so hard to keep those comments inside our heads,where they belong!
Yeah but one day they'll grow up and realize they have you for a mum and they'll be so damned happy...:)
KathyB are you sure that you were not a fly ini my house? That is how most afternoons go for us. Today I took the kids shopping after school(stupid idea) and I found myself mumbling it's ok, don't worry again and again. I had thought that I was just saying it in my head. Then Abigail says to me, "mommy should I be worried? Is everything alright?" I looked at her confused and then realized that my head was talking again. Hang in there with the sassyness. College is only about7 years away for you right. Make sure that they chose a sleep away option. Oh and just think... Summer is coming!
Becca
Hi, I came over from David's authorblog. You have a great blog here. I'd love for you to visit! Congrats on the Post of the Day Award!
Woo! Does she know how close she came to losing her head? LOL! Hang in there!
Yeah...the old stinkeye....my daughter has been getting really good at the stinkeye showdown with me too.....
Ohhh dear...
to be fair, you kinda asked for it. haha
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