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Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Hammer time!

The kids were dragging as they got ready for school this morning. I chatted with them about a baked oatmeal recipe that I was thinking of making for breakfast tomorrow, and even the prospect of a breakfast treat didn't lift their tired funk. In the world according to me, the promise of good food can usually turn a frown upside down, but not today.

I decided to pull out the big guns. I turned on a 90's music station and started bopping. I don't like to brag, but I can coax even the grumpiest person out of their deepest funk if I put my mind to it. I can prove it, too. If you ask nicely, I'll tell you about the time I humiliated myself in the middle of the grocery store cracked through one of hubby's rare surly moods in less than 30 seconds...

Really, it's a gift. Don't be jealous.

MC Hammer's U Can't Touch This came on and I quickly got into character. I couldn't have asked for a better song. I've got moves like the tin man before he gets his hinges oiled, so me doing my best MC Hammer is funny. Jaw-dropping actually might be a better description. And there's no video, so don't ask.

At this point I'm in the groove. I'm rockin' around the kitchen pulling out ingredients for tomorrow's baked oatmeal. The kids are smiling, and Abby is doing her best seat dancing. Having successfully changed the mood, I'm just having fun now... So I'm dancing along after refilling the oatmeal container from the ginormous box of Costco oatmeal. I'd tipped the ginormous Costco box delicately onto the highest-shelf-in-the-pantry-I-can-reach-without-a-stool as we arrived at this part of the song:

This is it, for a winner
Dance to this and you're gonna get thinner
Move, slide your rump
Just for a minute let's all do the bump, bump, bump

And then something went horribly wrong. I swear, I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.

Just as we get to the bump, bump part I'm shakin' my money-maker in the doorway of the pantry and the ginormous box of oatmeal falls off the shelf, lands smack on my head, crashes to the floor, and explodes.

We will not discuss whether the shaking of said money-maker caused the oatmeal to fall.

It looked something like this... except that's not my oatmeal. Or my kitchen floor. I had to grab this from google.images because my computer has decided not to recognize my camera. My pile of oatmeal was seriously three times the size of that paltry mound. Maybe four times.

Mt. Oatmeal on the pantry floor pretty much killed the Hammer Time buzz.

And we are not having that baked oatmeal tomorrow.

Just so 'ya know.

***

And I also get two new awards! Ladybug Blessings gave me this:



And Shop Girl gave me this:

Be sure to check in on these fabulous girls and see what they're up to!

60 comments:

zelzee said...

Those 'money'makers' can get you into so much trouble sometimes!

Congrats on the awards!

K said...

I already find myself repeating things all the time.

Good luck!

ScoMan said...

Congrats on the awards.

I have a similar picture, but not of oatmeal, of washing powder. I forget how it even happened now. I forget why I had the washing power in the kitchen. But I have photographic evidence of the spillage.

Megryansmom said...

Well look at the bright side, I don't like oatmeal anyway. Can we have French Toast instead please?

Tammy Howard said...

What a buzzkill!!! I bet the kids laughed, though. I bet that brought them right the heck out of their funk.

ck said...

Imagine the mess if Sir-Mix-A-Lot was playing?

Hit 40 said...

I have a new camcorder to figure out!!! Technology can be very frustrating to me. Good luck with your camera. You might have grabbed the wrong cord. They all look alike.

Good for you trying to turn their frowns upside down!!! I know it is hard work.

Cairo Typ0 said...

Congrats on your awards! :)

At least you weren't using hte wooden spoon as your mic as you boogied around your kitchen. Not that i do that.... *innocent*

Tsquared417 said...

You just can't make this stuff up!!

Don't forget to put your Hot Mama Award on there! :)

TKW said...

Oh God, something like that would happen at my house. Yikes.

I'm so determined now to play more music. I used to put it on to get over the 4pm slumps, and it DID work. Don't know why I stopped.

In honor of Kathy B., my house will be rocking out to ABBA Gold tonight!

Gibby said...

KB!, you can always make me laugh! I would kill for a video of that.

(And don't you love google? Need a pic of oatmeal on the floor? Done.)

BTW, it is not fair for Anon Mom to leave a dangling nugget like she did in her comment yesterday!

♥ Braja said...

LMAO at the "Hammer time!" header; check this out, which I put up in November...and sing it, girl, SING IT!!!

http://lostandfoundinindia.blogspot.com/2008/11/rain-cleanses-spirit.html

Hillbilly Duhn said...

LMAO!! That's too funny. I'll bet the humour didn't die away with Mt. Oatmeal though. My kids would've giggled there own money makers off because such a thing happened!!

WhisperingWriter said...

Haha, ooops.

I'm a total klutz so I'm constantly spilling things.

Maybe you could make pancakes tomorrow instead. :)

Meg said...

A Costco sized box of oatmeal on the floor? Yikes. That's good for at least 800 sq. ft.

Juls said...

Oatmeal-- you evil dance ruiner! Why...I oughtta...

Riddle Girl said...

I have always thought Oatmeal had evil powers.
On antother note...
The mental picture would have been complete if you had said you had on the Hammer pants too!
Hilarious!

the ungourmet said...

What a bummer!

Hey, you and I should have a dance off! I have been told that I dance a lot like Elaine from Seinfeld!

Ryan Ashley Scott said...

You have a gift - and I'd say the oatmeal on the floor was just part of the act. Really, tell me you didn't laugh!

beth said...

if your house is anything like mine, the spilled oatmeal would not only have brought smiles, but would have had people literally rolling on the floor laughing, so if that is what you were going for...good work! how's that for a "glass half full" spin!

Paging Doctor Mommy said...

I would love to spend a day in your house. You have way too much fun!

Kristina P. said...

Two words: Mario Lopez.

for a different kind of girl said...

Ha! Well, the experts DO say that movement and fiber are necessary for a healthy life. Two out of three ain't bad here!

for a different kind of girl said...

Two out of three?! What? I apparently need to add something to enhance my memory so it doesn't sap out on me less than a minute after I read something!

One out of two....that's what I meant. One out of two.

:)

Pop and Ice said...

Sorry, but before I believe this tale, I want to see a vlog of you dancing. Soon. I have yet to drop anything while shaking it with my iPod :)

Michele said...

I tried baked oatmeal for the first time yesterday, and although the kids ate it, they weren't rejoicing over said treat for breakfast. Mine was very crumbly. I'm going to have to try your recipe. Thanks for posting it.

My own arrested development story: One time, the kids were taking turns leaping off a stool to see how far they could get. I decided to join in the fun. I stood on the stool and prepared to take a giant leap. I neglected to notice that the stool was in a doorway, and when I launched myself skyward, I cracked my head solidly into the top of the door frame. I think I was knocked out cold for a while.

Not like I don't ever want to have any fun, but best to let the kids act like kids, I say.

D said...

U can't touch this is such a classic pick me up song. I think I'm going to go down load it now just for such occasions.

Helene said...

I can totally picture it....only because I can see the same exact thing happening to me. And that's what would make my kids smile...not the dancing, not the singing...but the box of oatmeal pouring all over my head and the floor.

Yesterday the kiddies were watching Shark Tale and that on the video is part of the song "Baby Got Back by Sir-Mix-a-Lot (come on, I know you know it...stop pretending that you don't) and I found myself quietly singing the rest of the song as I made the kids lunch. Didn't realize they were listening to me (they were SUPPOSED to be watching the movie) and they were like, "Mommy, is that song really about some girl's butt? What does 'get sprung' mean?". I'm so not ready for these conversations yet.

Lindy said...

A girls butt just can't get no respect.

You did succeed in clearing up my mellow mood though! :)

msprimadonna67 said...

If I had managed to spill the mound of oatmeal on the floor, it would NOT improve my mood, but I'm sure it would do wonders to lighten the moods of my little darlins, who ocassionally find great glee in my misfortunes.

Kate said...

Why does it have to work that way? You are changing everything for the best and then things like that always have to happen. Have a great day.

Bunnylord said...

Come get the greatest bloggy award of all time.

peewee said...

We all love costco-sized everything until we drop/spill it.

faemom said...

Ah dancing + kitchen= mess. Got it. Wait, I think I knew that, but I'm sure I'll forget until the next time I do it.

The Blonde Duck said...

It just wanted to dance too!

And I can't do veggie burgers. I don't know why. I've done soy and turkey and bean, but I can't do veggie burgers. It's just against my carnivore principles, I guess.

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

What a mess. I'd have cleaned it up for you just to see the dance.

Jen said...

its all about good intentions.

Wifey said...

Can you teach me how to shake my money-maker like that? You must have been doin' work.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Zeemaid said...

okay.. who thinks we should bribe the girls into taking videos of their mother at all times just to share with us? All in favor, say aye.

AYE!!!

*LOL* sorry about the oatmeal but thanks for the laugh........ ;)

Sturgmom said...

This post is worthless without video of you doing the Running Man. Maybe that should be the next Chick Chat topic....

Kathy B! said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kathy B! said...

Just so we're clear... there will be no video of me in my hammer pants... or doing the Running Man... or shakin' my money maker. I have to retain a scrap of dignity.

bernthis said...

I would love you to come to my place and see if you could shake things up around here. I could use it.

Pop and Ice said...

Hey, at least upload a photo to Twitter then! Please.....!

CynthiaK said...

Nice work, Hammer! I'm sure the MC is knocking down various pantry items with his moves these days, too.

I guess things could have been worse if Nirvana or Red Hot Chili Peppers had come on the station?!

Becca said...

I love that you find the humor in every bad thing that happens. You sure are right that you cannot make this stuff up!

Becca

Tina said...

Okay, I would laugh, but I've seriously done nearly the same thing before with a bag of sugar. Luckily it didn't hit me in the head...ouch!

Laoch of Chicago said...

In the old days Pizza for breakfast used to make me smile.

passionsandsoapboxes.com said...

Hey just saw the pictures of you shaking your thang on youtube. You are so brave. You are a funny lady and you have rhythm, sorta.

LadyFi said...

That's hilarious! Who knew that Hammer could have such an effect on oatmeal?

Susie said...

Congratulations on your awards. Sorry about your bump, bump, bump accident:-) That kind of stuff happens when I walk across the room. So, either my house is haunted or all the cupcakes are catching up with me:-)

tracy said...

That was great! Well not that it happened but the way you told it :)

tracy

Mama Nut said...

Oh goodness! I can't begin to tell you how many times my dancing has gotten me into a pickle. And my dancing isn't cute either -- really scary... It would give Stephan King nightmares...

tlc said...

And you thought it was smart to buy in bulk, didn't ya?

countryfriedmama said...

I was dancing in the kitchen yesterday while Miss D. and Belly ate, and the two of them just stared at me like I had lost my mind. It's nice that I have the power to stun them, if not make them laugh.

Kristina P. said...

No blogging today?!?!

Mary K Brennan said...

You're lucky to be alive! Those darn 90's songs will get you into trouble every time.
You could have done a big finish with: "I'm too sexy for this oatmeal, too sexy for this oatmeal!

Christie-A Work In Progress said...

And this is one of the reasons why I listed you as one of the funny bloggers I admire! Hysterical! I hope you didn't get oatmeal in your hair.

Bee and Rose said...

Congrats on the awards!

OMG! Do you have a concussion!? Those Costco size containers are huge! If I shook my moneymaker I would probably collapse my entire pantry! lol!

i am the diva said...

first of all, kitchen dancing is the best dancing, in my opinion.

second, YES!! Hammer Time!!

third, i hope you didn't break your noggin..