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Tuesday, June 30, 2009

From now on you can call me MacGyver

I got a lot of questions about the dress and what exactly I did to it. First of all, let me preface my explanation by saying that I don't sew. I've tried. Honestly. I even have a sewing machine that my mother diligently tried to teach me to use. Let's just say that after a couple hours of "teaching" my mom suggested that I give it up. She's a very patient woman.

So to summarize, I can do buttons but anything else exceeds my skill level.

The first thing I had to do was remove these from the dress:
My daughter has a very athletic build. Translation: she's flat as a pancake. She put this dress on and was parading around the house. My husband was caught by surprise when she came around the corner. His jaw dropped, his eyes bugged out and he grabbed me by the elbow and yanked me into the kitchen to ask, "What in the heck...! Her chest?! That didn't just... happen. Did it?!"

Honestly, that reaction was almost worth the fire drill that the rest of my evening became. Of course, I had to tear the inner seam to remove my daughter's newly found b-cup prowess. I made a clean tear, but the seam was continuing to further unravel without any real encouragement. It clearly needed to be re-sewn, but wait... I don't do that.

So I stapled it closed.

I needed about four staples to repair each cup. Can you see the first one?! It gets better.



Once the boobies got deflated the whole top half of the dress sagged. Suddenly the arm holes were too long, the empire waist was at her regular waist... Clearly the shoulder straps needed to be shortened... At 9:00 PM the night before graduation. Did I mention I can't sew?

Fortunately, this is the world according to me, and in my corner of the world lack of ability doesn't usually hold me back. I improvised. I pinched up the excess fabric and tied it off with a brown, elastic hair-tie. Then I did the only stitch I know, the-sew-a-button-on-a-shirt-stitch, to tack the offending fabric to the shoulder.


And of course the finishing touch was the camisole that she wore underneath. I wanted to cover some of the skin that was showing, but I also needed to protect her from the staples all over her chest.

One of yesterday's commenters inferred that the dress was MacGyver'd together.
She had no idea.

46 comments:

LadyFi said...

You're a girl after my own heart! I don't sew either. I use staples, safety pins and duct tape!

Yaya said...

It's adorable! I love your dress fixing skills.

passions and soapboxes said...

I don't sew either. I was known far and wide for my skills with a glue gun. The dress looked great even with staples. Shhh I was never here, I was in bed asleep if anyone asks.

K said...

I think you're better than MacGyver.

Excellent work.

Gibby said...

That is AWESOME! Great work, KB!
I just had to pin a dress for Poonch and I prayed that the safety pins wouldn't come undone and poke her, causing her to bleed all over her new dress. Oh yeah, and I didn't want her to get hurt, either.

Your husband's reaction is priceless!

Pam said...

Wow, talk about creative. Well done!

Lindy said...

See - that just makes me feel so much better now. :)

Tammy Howard said...

Staples - that is awesome! And WAY more interesting than sewing. Good on ya!

The Rambler said...

YOU are my kinda girl.

I'm totally taking notes. And if you think I'm joking.

I'm NOT.

:)

thedomesticfringe said...

This was SO FUNNY! I can sew with a machine, never by hand, but just repaired my daughter's comforter with safety pins.

I hate the dresses they make for young girls. I just don't understand them. My daughter is seven and in a children's size 10. As it is, I have to shop at specific stores to get little girl dresses. I don't what I'll do in another 2 or 3 years.

Good job on your dress fix...staples and all!
-FringeGirl

Lisa (Jonny's Mommy) said...

I went back to the other post and the dress is beautiful, so you did a good job. That whole thing cracked me up because it sounds like something I would do. If I had a girl, which I don't, but you know what I mean.

I went through something similar in college with a friend who was "boobless" so to speak and bought a dress with padding. She then asked me to dance with her to see if the padding felt fake or if it felt like real boobs so she would know what the guy she was going with would be "up against." I was really worried she was going to ask me to grab her boobs or something and even more worried she was going to tell me later that one of her boobs fell out during the dance.

Ginger said...

I'm so glad I have a boy..

Seriously. Great work!

Danielle said...

Your awesome. I can't even sew on a button.

Hit 40 said...

OMgosh!!! You stapled it!!! LOL. I do not have a sewing machine, but I have a seem ripper and thread to fix things by hand.

Meg said...

Impressive! Very impressive!

i am the diva said...

well done!! you got skillz

faemom said...

You know, they have something called Liquid Stitch or No Sew It. They're fabric glue for the sewing-impaired. You can get it at Walmart in the sewing section.
My mom has taught and retaught me to sew, and now I decieded to sew my dress for my brother's wedding. I'm in huge trouble!
BTW, I love your husband's reaction!

TKW said...

I knew it! I knew you were MacGyver!

Staples are hilariously ingenious. And guess what, I also have used hair elastics to shorten dress straps! We are kindred spirits in the world of not sewing,

Grant said...

You should have let her keep the boobs.

Hillbilly Duhn said...

At least you didn't use duct tape!!

I think you did awesome!

I understand the taking out the cups of things. For some reason, nowadays manufactures conclude that everyone must have at least size B cup and shove those darn things in everything! I take them out and often times have to end up doing a bit of a stich up myself.

I even take them out of my bra's. LOL! I don't want fake, wrinkly looking boobies!! I'd rather just have small ones...

Mary K Brennan said...

Thank God that child didn't have to get on a plane. She never would have made it through the metal detector.
Glad to know there are actually other Mom's out there that rely on wit instead of a sewing machine. I haven't got a clue.

Susie said...

Awesome job! It looked great:-)

Juls said...

U go girl...with your a little whack here..a little staple there... She looked marvelous! :)

Kristina P. said...

This makes me feel so much better about my sewing abilities.

the ungourmet said...

Nice job with the stapling! I wouldn't have thought of it. Knowing me I would have tried taping the darn thing which, of course, never would have worked. You are good Mrs. MacGyver!

peewee said...

I once used paper clips and scotch tape for a seam tear. I didn't have a stapler then. We are women who GET THE JOB DONE I SAY!

Riddle Girl said...

Now I have to know what Size dress that was.
Really...it had Boob inserts???
Back in my day it was embarassing to be the 12 year old with boobs. Now they encourage it with the clothing! Yikes!
I'm nervous for what they are trying to make our sweet young girls in to these days!
Heaven help us! Next thing you know they will start giving stripper pole courses in high school.
But good work with the "cover up"!

Jane! said...

Staples? There? Yikes! You are dangerous with a Swingline.

The flip side to that is my 17-year-old who wears a size 0 or 1 and she needs the, um, inserts so you can tell her front from her back.

Jeez, I hope she doesn't read this.

Anyway, cute dress, cute daughter and congrats to her, but what-the-heck are kids still doing in school THIS time of the year???

Young Mom/Wife said...

wow, that is amazing! And you definitely used MacGyver skills on that dress.

Pop and Ice said...

Ok, you're the second person to post something today that made me run for my inhaler! I guess because I used to staple up my hems when I stepped on them and then would forget to repair and wear again with the staples!

You are very good at improvising, I'll give you that! I drag my daughter down to the local tailor for anything more than buttons as almost everything she wears has to be altered except frigging t-shirts!

Michele said...

"protect her from the staples all over her chest..."

hee hee hee... I'm going to be chuckling for the rest of the night...

As long as she was happy with the finished product, and no tetanus shots were required, I'd say "well done!"

Jen said...

wow, I am so impressed. I had no idea all you did.

Sandy said...

Good job! Fabric glue works, too!

Grand Pooba said...

Oh my gosh! I love the stapling! That's what I do when the soles of my shoes start coming off. LOL

Zeemaid said...

your husband's reaction was hysterical. Just wait until the real things happen. *LOL*

I absolutely love how you macgyver'd the dress together. You did a great job.

Ryan Ashley Scott said...

I would never have guessed by the photo below that you couldn't sew. Then again, "button-on-a-shirt" IS sewing to me, and that's how I made Monsoon's Batman costume for Halloween last year - time consuming, but nobody can tell a dif unless they've got a magnifying glass. As long as she didn't know, nothing else matters!

Ink said...

I am pretty sure that MacGyver couldn't have done that. You rock!

3 Bay B Chicks said...

This post made me laugh. The vision of you struggling with this dress, armed with a bevy of office supplies, is pure magic. I only wish I could have been your on-line or phone support system.

Don't y'all have dry cleaner's who do this sort of thing in your neck of the woods? :)

-Francesca

ck said...

stapling...that's the kind of sewing I can do. Now, where did I put my staple gun?

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

Oh I LOVE it! I've done the staple repair before, too...and packing tape works really great for hems that have become un-sewn... ;)

zelzee said...

You are truly my hero!!

Staples and a hair tie. You know, you may be on to something here.......

Lola said...

I completely agree with the McGyver assessment. I know how to sew, but at work in a pinch I've used staples to keep a pant leg hem attached.

Stopping by for the July Comment Challenge.

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Suzy said...

I couldn't even follow the staples. I'm still on the buttons.

Helene said...

Wow, Kathy B, you sure are creative. So what if you don't sew....you still managed to pull it off. Looking at her dress in that last post, I would have NEVER guessed it had been altered in any way.

If it were me, I would've just cried out of frustration and then told the kids to get in the car to head to the mall to buy a new dress. I'm just incapable of any kind of sewing or creativity.

blueviolet said...

That is very much like how I would gone about this! Sweet skillz!

Sturgmom said...

I'm still impressed that you knew how to fix it up without any of it showing, gapping, or sagging! I don't care what materials you used.

The extent of my "sewing" abilities is using masking tape to hem pants. It's just a straight line...