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Friday, September 11, 2009

My apology to the universe

First the blogs I follow went missing and spoiled my evening of blog reading, but then they came back. I thought that meant that the universe and I were good. Friendly even.

I should really know better by now, shouldn't I.

I was in the garage to and was just getting ready to slip on my shoes when I see this:






Can't see it?

I don't blame you. It's hard to see.

Let me blow it up for you... That better?







In. my. freaking. shoe.

I love nature. Really. I do. I put up with the snakes in the pool and the snakes in the skimmer basket and ginormous groundhogs eating all of my flowers. But this?

Reptiles in my shoes are NOT OKAY.

Clearly, the universe is upset pissed. I don't think the usual fare of lucky rabbit's feet and four leaf clovers are going to get me out of this pickle. Fortunately, as I sat contemplating my miserable fate blogger Janie Woods came to my rescue with this comment:

"I pay homage to the blog gods by lighting a candle and dancing naked to some tribal music. It usually doesn't work, but my husband laughs his ass off."

I'm just desperate enough to restore order to my world and get off the universe's shit list that I'm going to have to try it.

Monday's post will be the video.

Stay tuned.

81 comments:

Megryansmom said...

Great way to start the week, nakie dancing according to me. I can't wait. Psst, could you practice by doing some sort of homage to birthing gods and get this baby delivered already!

TKW said...

Anxiously awaiting the video!!

What a clever little snake, hiding in your shoe...but EEK!

peewee said...

AHCK! When I saw the close-up I recoiled. He looks like an angry little snake. Like he's seriously pissed that you woke him from his nap.

Huh. Bet this is an angle Nike hasn't thought of yet.

Nap Warden said...

OMG...I would move:O

Grant said...

You need to sacrifice a pizza and a 6-pack to appease the blog demons.

confused homemaker said...

I cannot believe it. I would have freaked out.

JC said...

We had a big snake in our garage. Mr. Boatman shooed it away ... sorry for the pun ... and put that foamy stuff by the garage door openings ... no more snakes ...

So glad you noticed it before you picked up the shoe though ...

I do not like snakes not even cute ones ...

~Thought's By Dena~ said...

OMG is that a snake in your shoe?? GET OUT OF HERE!!! ID FREAK OUT !!! I wouldnt even be able to put my shoe on after that nope..no way...not gonna happen!!!! ugh now Ive got the "ebgeebees"

Semi-Slacker Mom said...

Kathy you kill me! But seriously, what if you haven't been paying attention & put it on!!! Now I'm giving myself the creeps. You should get a goat.

Kristina P. said...

I really get my fair share of nature through your blog.

the ungourmet said...

I've had all my blogs disappear before. It about put me in a panic!

Thank God you didn't put your foot in!

♥ Braja said...

I'm with hubby :))) and waiting for the vid action :)))

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm so sorry, I'm laughing hysterically... You poor thing! The universe really is testing you, isn't it? I'm looking forward to the video on Monday. Better get some rest this weekend. ;)

Tsquared417 said...

Well, sh** girl, thank God you didn't put your foot in there!! What on Earth did you do to piss the universe off??? :)

Jen said...

Some days, you can't win if you try. I hope that you have a reptile free weekend.

Ryan and Michelle Wagner said...

HIGHLY looking forward to monday!!!

Riddle Girl said...

I did not even have to scroll to the 2nd picture...I KNEW what it had to be. I'm just curious who got it out of the shoe or if you just wore something else!

And don't be offended...I may pass on the Monday post. I'm just not in to tribal music! ;)

Janie Woods said...

Well, there's only one snake god I dance for and he would not be happy if I posted the video!!

Thanks for the linky!

You need to get right with nature and the universe, realign your chi, or whatever it takes! Sacrifice a virgin or something!!

ymK said...

Okay my eyes are just ready to pop out of their sockets. I would have died if it was my shoe, I don't know how you stood there while he posed for you, EEEK!!!

Laoch of Chicago said...

Can you post pictures of your ritual dancing?

Susie said...

You are in some sort of twilight zone!!

Mary K Brennan said...

I thought you were going to zoom in to some doggy crap. This is far worse.
I don't know where you left these shoes, but I'm praying that little guy didn't invite any friends.

Kathy B! said...

Riddle girl: First I freaked out and screamed. Then we sat there looking at each other. Then I said some unfortunate things about Mother Nature and the army of reptiles she seems bent on attacking me with. I went and got the camera and attached the highest power telephoto lens and snapped the picture from a good 10 feet away. I then grabbed my shoe by the toe at which point he disappeared inside. I carried the shoe outside and the rest is a blur of jumping and screaming and shaking the shoe and throwing it into the woods.

Can you imagine what my neighbors must think of me?! It ws not a quiet affair.

Kathy B! said...

Mary K Brennan: Thanks. With the thought of "friends" waiting to take up residence in my other shoes I think I may never go into the garage again.

K said...

NOT OKAY!

Definitely not okay.

Thanks for giving me a whole new set of things to worry about.

Susan warmchocmilk said...

That's insane! Thank god you saw it. I just found your blog, You are funny. I'll follow :)

Lana@The Kids Did WHAT?! said...

Finding snakes outside is one thing. Finding one in your SHOE? Seems to be getting personal... Maybe they're attracted to you since you're so charming? You know - a snake charmer... Whatever. It was funny in my head! :P

Nancy@ifevolutionworks.com said...

I would have to throw those sneakers out. Reptiles completely skeeve me. I don't care if I could never go running again! :)

Told ya that list would come back!

Kristen said...

I saw him :) How on earth did you go grab your camera, unless it was your cellphone, without him moving his perfectly positioned head for a picture?

The Good Cook said...

Many years ago I lived in Florida. There was a big snake that lived in the saw grass next to the garage. My husband kept telling me it was a good snake as it ate bugs... one day I opened the garage door and there were hundreds of baby snakes sunning themselves on the driveway.

I know live in the NORTHEAST.

Grand Pooba said...

How can you handle that? I'd have to move out to a new house because I'd be paranoid!

ScoMan said...

I think if you want to pay homage to the blog gods you dance clockwise, if you want to appease nature dance anti-clockwise.

You get along with nature much more than I would. I wouldn't put up with snakes in the pool, in the skimmer basket or anywhere where I can see them.

heidi said...

Poor you. :-( Snakes in your shoes are NOT a good thing. Dancing naked for the blog gods is definitely video worthy. I'm staying tuned.

heidi said...

Wait - uh..I'm not asking to see you naked or anything. I was just sayin the video would be funny! Not that you being naked is funny or your naked body is funny or not that I would even know since I've never seen nor imagined you naked I'm just..

oh forget it.

beth said...

totally, totally not acceptable! yikes! i would have completely freaked!

ModernMom said...

OMG!!! What did you do? Eeek. I do not do snakes!

blueviolet said...

That's freakishness! You'd better chant a litany, sprinkle stuff, anoint things, and yes, get naked. Do it now before your life is destroyed.

Ink said...

Did you click your ruby red shoes together three times and repeat "There's no place like home" yet? I think you might want to add that to the ritual...

Unknown Mami said...

You must have pissed the Universe off something bad.

passions and soapboxes said...

First: don't leave your shoes in the garage.

Second: make sure there are no snakes before you dance nekkid.

Third: post it on youtube. This could be big, viral even.

bernthis said...

now if I did that, as a single woman, the only man who would appreciate it is the mailman and it's anyone's guess what time of day he's going to show up

LadyFi said...

Well, I've heard of snake in the grass, but this beats that hands down!

Danielle said...

I didn't read through all of the comments today because there are so darn many of them. (Mrs. Popular) But I bet I am the only one to think that little uy was adorable. :)

ck said...

Is that a snake or a lizard? We saw so many lizards in NC this last week that I stopped gasping after awhile. They're everywhere!

And at least you didn't pick up your shoe to put it on before you noticed.

Pam said...

I am snake phobic and I saw that snake in the first picture. *shudder* Though I must admit that in the close up he actually looks kind of cute. I think all your snake posts are desensitizes me a little bit. Unless ck is right and it's a lizard and not a snake. In which case I'm still scared to death of snakes!

Jeve (aka John and Steve) said...

Awwwww...but he's so cute!

Stesha said...

If I dance naked your blog will set itself on fire from the horror! Instead I'll say a prayer.

Hugs and Mocha,
Stesha

Shelley said...

And to think I only worried about spiders in my shoes.

JennyMac said...

snakes...ugh. I will select spider over snake ANY day.

Lindy said...

What the HELL are you doing posting pictures of SNAKES!

You KNOW how I feel about this.

If I were you? I'd move.

Hillbilly Duhn said...

At least you didn't get to see two turtles bumpin uglies. The mental picture in which I now carry around with me is horrifying. HORRIFYING!

I'd take a critter in my shoe over that any day!

Tiffany @ Lattes And Life said...

*shiver* My husband wants us all to leave our shoes on the front porch, since we try not to wear shoes in the house. But this? This is EXACTLY why I refuse. We live in the SWAMP, okay? Lord only knows what would be in my shoe. No thank you.

Kate Coveny Hood said...

That image will haunt me for a while... When we visit his parents in Phoenix, Chris always tells me to shake out my shoes before putting them on (scorpions). Maybe I'll start taking that seriously...

naptimewriting said...

It's totally wrong that I think it looks cute, right?
Cuz it does. Even though that's wrong.
Is it wrong that I'm excited about Monday's video?
Cuz I am. Even though that's wrong.

Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings said...

One night I hit "mark all as read" in my reader and boom...like that all my new posts from my fave blogs were gone.

Ah crap...I missed some good ones that night too, but tried my best to bounce around.

I am looking forward to the video, by the way.

Helene said...

OMG, is that a little lizard or a snake?? Eeeew, that would totally freak me out too. And I, too, would wonder what on earth I had done wrong to piss the universe off! Hopefully everything will be cool by Monday!

Heidi said...

I didn't have Internet service for two days! I really must be bad, at least way down deep.
I stomp on my shoes after shaking them out before putting them on. I never know what kind of creepy crawly might be waiting to bite me.I also stomp on my gardening gloves first too. Maybe I have a problem.

Sandy said...

Holy crap! A snake in your shoe?! Good thing you looked first.

That crap happens with my Google Reader quite often. Freaks me out when it does because I'm always afraid they won't come back but so far they always do.

Can't wait for the video.

faemom said...

I think it's time to move your shoes to the closet. Here in the desert you don't leave your shoes outside for certain reasons. The garage is outside as far as I'm concerned.

Jane said...

I'm with faemom. The first time my husband found a scorpion in his shoe (that was left in the garage, on a shoe rack) I decided to move the shoes indoors.

Mama Kat said...

I'm pretty sure I would have been jumping up and down screaming like a little girl...EWWWW!!! A snake in your SHOE!! What if you didn't see it first and actually tried to put it on!!

It sounds like your used to seeing snakes around your place, but if I saw one here I'd call animal control to come remove it from the premises and escort it back to it's natural habitat...the zoo or something?

Bill and Lorie Shewbridge said...

Oh, man, did you HAVE to do the blow up??? I thought it was one of those harmless little lizards that we have around here in central Florida, you know the ones that EAT those disgusting "Palmetto" bugs (aka HUGIMOUS ROACHES). Then you blow it up and I see that it is a disgusting SNAKE. EEEEWWWW!!
Thanks for making me itchy and grossed out!!!

Michele said...

Poor, poor Kathy.

I also thought at first that it must be a lizard.

Many of us would have paid money to witness that shoe-shaking.

Hope this week is as dull and uninteresting as can be!

Michele said...

P.S. I'll say it again. You need to have some sons. Or at least adopt some neighbor boys. My boys would have been all over that little cutie and begging to keep it as a pet.

ModernMom said...

I'm back to make sure that snake is still there and hasn't tried to make the move to Canada!

On a different note, I left an award for you over at my blog!

evenshine said...

Awww...he's sorta cute. Thanks for absolutely making my Sunday, thinking of the craziness that goes on at the Belinski house so that it MISSES MINE.

(Lighting up my candle, now. Just in case...)

countryfriedmama said...

How do they always find you KathyB!? How?

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

That is not cool. NOT cool at all. Sick, in fact.

Hit 40 said...

Too funny! Did you spray your shoe with a can of disinfectant? I would be worried if a reptile was in my coffee cup with the luck that your having.

Future Mama said...

OMG! aren't you glad you didn't squish it with your bare foot?! And I'm surprised it stayed long enough for you to get a picture!! Haha, you are too funny!

Finally getting time to visit and follow all my moxies!! :)

Justin Narin said...

That is creepy, snakes and lizards but to actually have one in your shoes is something i cannot contemplate and you actually took a picture of it...


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sherri said...

reptiles and footwear definitely do NOT mix. and totally unrelated and I'm sure you get this a lot but you look a lot like Ashley Judd. in your profile pic anywhoo.

~Laura said...

That is so not okay!! I say you start lighting up those candles. Can't wait for the video!

Zip n Tizzy said...

It's Monday.
Precisely what time were you planning to post the video?

abbie said...

Girlfriend- you ain't seen nothin. I am not even really scared of insect life. Two weeks ago, I was IN THE SHOWER, was just getting wet and saw a hazy thing through the opaque shower curtain which looked like a centipede. Grose, but not dramatic, I will just wash it down the drain and drown it. So. Out drops a huge black spider WITH HAIR which waqs visible to me EVEN WITHOUT MY GLASSES. The word terrified doesn't even cover it. I was home alone, I don't remember going from in the shower to outside the shower, but I did. I grabbed the spray thingie and washed this ****** down the drain then just turned on the hot water for, like, 5 minutes. Even then I was scared so I plugged up the tub and took a shower and got my hubby to take the plug out when he got home. The next 2 times I showered, I got him to check the whole shower before I would get in, and even then I was doing a paranoid 360 continiously. Shower lasted about 2 minutes.
Now I am terrified to shower, AND my hubby is in the hospital so he's not here to rescue me. It ticks me off that I am suddenly so terrified of spiders.

Mox said...

2 words: heebee. jeebee.

Did you check out Chick Chick?

I am dying to hear what you think, Margarita Mama!

Gibby said...

2 more words:
Holy Sh*t.

The Crazy Suburban Mom said...

O.M.G. I would have missed that, I pretty much missed it in the second picture which means... well, I know what that means...

ew

i am the diva said...

haha! that's learn you for dissing Mother Nature.

Anonymous said...

OMG!!!! You are soooo lucky you didn't stick your foor in there and get bitten. Even if they aren't poisonous that would hurt!

Zeemaid said...

no way. I so would not be able to put my shoes on ever again. Where do you live? Cause I soooo don't want to live there, to many darn snakes. *LOL*