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Thursday, September 10, 2009

Hello, ACME Pest Control?

Hannah is an awesome kid. She's bright, enthusiastic, driven, incredibly funny in a very dry sort of way which I LOVE. I could go on and on. But...

Hannah is also a pest.

She has the innate ability to make peoplecrazy with the snap of her fingers. She knows just what makes people tick and exactly which buttons to push. That child can walk into a room where her sisters are peacefully busy and have all three of them in an uproar in 33.2 seconds. It's almost a gift, really.


***

After school the other day Hannah and I were sitting in my office reviewing a logic worksheet. She didn't "get it" so I was trying to explain it from yet another angle when I noticed she was looking over my shoulder and clearly not listening to what I was saying. I caught her attention, but rather than going back to the worksheet as I had hoped, we had this conversation:

Hannah: Hey mommy? What's a pest service?

KathyB!: (not paying full attention as I'm still trying to wrap my head around a good explanation for that stupid logic problem) You know... exterminators. They come out and get rid of the pests.

Hannah: What's a termite, mom?

KathyB!: (still not there) Seriously, Hannah?! It's a pest. There's a termite warranty on our house and every year the exterminator comes to make sure we don't have pests. You know... like termites.

(pause)

Hannah: Um. I'm not a termite. Am I?

KathyB! Wha... no. NO! (lightbulb finally goes on) Hannah, termites are bad bugs - like fire ants. The exterminator comes... Why on earth would you think you're a termite. For Pete's sake, Hannah...

I followed Hannah's gaze to where this was sitting on my desk:



I'm thinking I need to stop calling her a pest before I land her in therapy.

48 comments:

~Laura said...

So funny! I love when their innocence proves just how young they really are. Hope you got a good chuckle out of this.

Tammy Howard said...

Oh poor baby!!!

Tiffany @ Lattes And Life said...

Ack! Poor thing! At least she doesn't understand "Capital Punishment". What an appropriate name for a bug service anyway, right?

Beth Dunn said...

UGH! I have the same kind of conversations with my children. And then I feel soo guilty. Very cute story! xoxo

Tsquared417 said...

Poor Hannah!! The things kids come up with!! :)

Lindy said...

Between your termite control and your snakes and your fanny packs - you could be doing permanent damage here!

blueviolet said...

So maybe not a label for day in day out usage, but keep it in your back pocket. You just never know...

thedomesticfringe said...

Hysterical!!! My husband has always called my son "Turkey", mainly because he was a butterball as a baby. Anyway, while we were driving down the road one day, my husband points out the side window and yells "Turkey". From the backseat, my son answered, "Ya, Dad?"

I figure our kids will need something to tell their therapists when they're older, why not give them something good!

-FringeGirl

~Thought's By Dena~ said...

IS it wrong to think this was funny??

ymK said...

Oh poor poor baby! Did you wait for her to go away before you laughed?

Danielle said...

It makes me smile at what must go through little nieve minds. They think in such simple amazing terms.

beth said...

haha! poor thing. maybe you should start giving her gift certificates for therapy now. hehe!

JC said...

At least you get rid of most of your pests ...

I need to get one of those contracts ...

Nana said...

Kids are so funny. My daughter and I were in a very crowded store looking at all of the beautiful things we wanted to buy.

Henry, my 3 yr. old granson was not amused. He wanted to go home.

I said " Henry you are such a buzz kill."

He screams, "YOUR GOING TO KILL ME?!?!!"

I loved all the looks we then recieved.

JennyMac said...

Innocent lamb!

Young Mom/Wife said...

hahaha, oh children and their logic.

Jane! said...

I say work with whatever lands in you lap.
I figure therapy's a given.

Helen McGinn said...

*LOL* If that was my daughter, then she'd know fine well and would be playing me. How come they all turned out soooo different?

Grant said...

I called Acme pest control, but their solution was to drop a safe on the termites so I switched to Orkin.

Susie said...

That is hilarious!! I am almost sorry she explained it to her!! You could have used it for leverage:-)

Sturgmom said...

Awww, she thought you were trying to get rid of her! And at a hefty price, I bet!

I suppose the moment's lost now... no way to threaten her with it in the future, huh? (Not that I would EVER recommend doing such a thing...)

Grand Pooba said...

Hahaha! I love it, the girl thinks you've hired a pest control service to keep her under control!

I would have rolled with it.

Cheffie-Mom said...

What a cutie! She's a keeper for sure!

Ink said...

Aw, poor H! (Kind of funny, though.)

WhisperingWriter said...

How funny.

Now I'm thinking of a book I used to read when I was younger: "Ramona the Pest." Great book.

Nancy@ifevolutionworks.com said...

FUNNY! I'd rule out pest, little pest, big pest, bug, rodent or anything like that.

Love how children put things together :)

TKW said...

Not a termite, of course! Maybe a pesky little ladybug sometimes....

angie said...

How adorable. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE hearing about the things kids say.

K said...

So funny!

You sound like you have so much fun in your house.

Undercover-Princess said...

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! :) HA!

Kate Coveny Hood said...

Ugh! You mean they eventually learn to read and ask questions about things? Life was so much easier when I could read a magazine while an infant slept...

Pam said...

Or... you can use this to your advantage! ;)

Jane said...

Too funny! That poor little thing. Looks like you need another nickname.

Jen said...

Live and learn, right!?

A Mom on Spin said...

Yeah, peskiness is a gift of sorts. You just shouldn't unwrap it all at one time!

Laoch of Chicago said...

It's a good thing she does not know that some cultures eat termites!

Hit 40 said...

The clouds and ad were not here yesterday!! You just stop pimping out your blog!!! ENOUGH JUST ENOUGH!! I miss playing on my computer now that school has started.

faemom said...

LOL I'm sure there are other words to describe her. ;-)

LadyFi said...

Ha ha! Love the way kids think!

Oceanpages said...

Find some more Termite Control Services here.

ScoMan said...

Such a shame. You could have scared her straight once and for all. You'll never get an opportunity like that again you know.

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

Hannah sounds just like Princess Nagger... I wonder if I should hire a pest service to keep her on her toes? ;)

the ungourmet said...

Oh my gosh that is too funny! :D I guess I better watch what a say to my son!

Jenny Penny said...

Ahhhh, school's in session here, and now I can catch up with my favorite bloggers. I am sorry to see that one of them has terrified her child into thinking she could be exterminated for a small fee. But? Very funny.

Riddle Girl said...

I think you just came up with the greatest business idea ever...Child Pest Control. The greatest thing is you can make a ton of money with NOTHING to actually provide outside of a certificate stating that they will be out every 3-6 months to get rid of child pests.
Oh the fear that would put in to the child! I think I will start working on the business plan for it right now.

passions and soapboxes said...

Wonky night in bloggerland. This is so funny. Poor Hannah.

Bill and Lorie Shewbridge said...

That is just so adorable!!

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