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Monday, July 20, 2009

This is why I don't play sports

Last night I was getting Hannah settled for the night. Hannah loves tumbling and has a gymnastic mat in the middle of her room. I wish I could explain what it is about that stupid mat that inspires me to bust a move . It just does. And so now we have stories that start like this: "Hey, mom! Remember that time you were teaching me how to do a back handspring and you...."

Anywho, Hannah does this thing at bedtime where, just as I'm about to leave, she'll say, "Hey, mommy?" But then she doesn't really have anything else. And she'll do it 15 times if I let her. In my heart I know she does it because she's happy and enjoying the moment and she doesn't want the day to end. In my head it makes me a little nuts.

I have these funny little made-up songs that I've been singing to the kids since they were tiny babies. The lyrics change almost on a daily basis. I've been trying to get out of Hannah's room without the "hey, mommies" by singing outrageous things and making her giggle as I slip out the door. It worked for awhile, but lately I've had to get more creative. Sometimes I'll do gymnastics. Nothing too fancy, but she gets a kick out of watching my nearly middle-aged body try to contort itself into the shape of my youth.

In an attempt to keep my act fresh, I threw in some ballet moves last night. I pirouetted and twirled... and concluded with a graceful landing on the mat. In my head it looked something like this:
In reality it was a little clumsy. And my landing was a little... off. And a strange popping noise shot from my calf - sort of like the sound of snapping fingers.

I guess overall it was a success. After convincing Hannah I was okay she just about fell out of bed laughing. I escaped with no "hey, mommies."

***

We live in a community where we have access to golf and tennis. Every so often DH encourages me to take up one of those sports, and now I know why I always decline: If I can hurt myself tucking my kid into bed can you imagine the damage I could do to myself and others with a tennis racket?

Or worse yet... a golf club?

54 comments:

Ginger said...

I think I'm starting to detect the weather in my joints. (sigh) Yeah. My body ain't as young as it used to be..

I feel your pain. :)

♥ Braja said...

Mummy bustin' a move. And a calf :)))

Pop and Ice said...

I think it's great that you provide nighttime entertainment for your children. It's free and it's not like you have any competition, unless your husband has some rad moves he wants to show off to the kids!

Lindy said...

I'm sorry - the thought alone is making me laugh.

I get the "hey mommy" every night too. I've started instituting the "hey Emily" as I walk out the door. It doesn't help and I refuse to do a floor exercise in an attempt to make it stop.

Mimi said...

Hi... I see your comments at PBD often and I gotta tell you I think you are one sharp cookie, and such a darling picture of yourself. Anyway, hi from WV.
I enjoy your blog.

TKW said...

I, too, am completely lacking grace. If there's a stray cord in a room, I will find it and trip over it.

blueviolet said...

Yep, you are pushing the boundaries as far as they should be pushed.

Grant said...

I think a lack of exercise could contribute to higher risk of injury when active, although I've never really considered golf to be exercise. You should take up kick-boxing. The next time you hear "hey, mommy", you can punch the kid unconscious.

Susie said...

I am the least athletic person on the planet and so, I am in touch with that emotion:-)

Kristina P. said...

I can hurt myself just by laying in bed. Seriously. With leg and foot cramps. It's awesome.

Gibby said...

Good God, I haven't even done a somersault in 20 years, let alone a back handspring!

peewee said...

sounds like someone needs a little yogaaaaaaaa.....

Kathy B! said...

I should clarify. I used to do back handsprings and was teaching my daughter a better blast off technique... I fell over showing her. No back handspringing ever actually took place on my part... I may be a little crazy but I'm not stupid!!

Cheffie-Mom said...

Really?! Back handsprings! Impressive! I'm a bit clumsy! LOL! But I can do an awesome thumb dance! LOL!

Ink said...

And now you're going to get "Hey Mommy, will you do that dance again?" ;)

Zeemaid said...

LOL what a great mom you are. I like to sing crazy mixed up songs to the my children too. Which would explain why E constantly has to sing, sing, sing around the house... which grates. Why is it only good when I do it? *L*

ooh and have you heard the booger monster game... you tell them the booger monster is going to get them (tickle, tickle, tickle) while they are under the covers.... maybe that will stall the hey mommies. :)

D said...

I love the image of you doing a back handspring....even if you didn't actually do it.

gudnuff said...

Oh, that whole Hey Mommy thing has gotten so old at my house. I am at the point of greeting even the first "Hey, Mommy?" with pure grumpiness, instead of acrobatic exits. I wonder if setting a timer would work?

the ungourmet said...

I have finally given up showing my kids my gymnastic moves. I occasionally try and throw in a cartwheel just to prove I'm not over the hill yet. Gone are the days of back walkovers. :0(

You are such a fun Mommie!

bernthis said...

i had to read this post twice as I couldn't believe you do gymnastics! I almost killed myself today walking in flip flops thanks very much

bernthis said...

i had to read this post twice as I couldn't believe you do gymnastics! I almost killed myself today walking in flip flops thanks very much

Meg said...

Yeah, I could see the golf club flying out of your hand and whacking the CEO of Cisco, or RedHat or IBM in the head. That'd be awesome. In the worst possible way.

But a You Tube video of your moves would be awesome in the best possible way.

Nikki said...

Golf!! OH MY GOODNESS GOLF IS AMAZING! I golf all of the time.

I really suggest you try it. If 80 year old men can do it, you can do it.

Oh, and you make mommy-hood seem like an acting job. I like it!

Jen said...

I totally get this. I break myself just walking through my house. That is why blogging is a safe hobby for me. ;)

Kim said...

Last summer, my girls were flipping and twirling around in the backyard. I impetuously threw myself upside down in a cartwheel . . . and pulled my hamstring. I was limping around for days.

beth said...

hope your calf is feeling better. i am cracking up at the idea that you injured yourself tucking your child in. we really should get hazard pay for this motherhood job!

Jenni Jiggety said...

Yeah...I can't be wielding any sports paraphernalia either!

Mary K Brennan said...

We're surrounded by 5 golf courses. For the sake of my safety and that of others, I haven't taken up that sport.
Entertaining the kids is definitely a different story. There are no limits. That is, until I hear that popping sound.

Tammy Howard said...

Oh, I felt every bit of this story. There is a very good reason my parents didn't name me Grace, and opted instead for the melodic and lovely Tammy...

jinksy said...

Those silly, bedtime rhymes take me back! Now it's my granddaughters who wheedle them out of me, instead of my kids! :)

~Thought's By Dena~ said...

man wheres the camera when you really need it!?! hehe Maybe you can get workmens comp???? Just sayin!!

for a different kind of girl said...

Ha! Oh, I think I pulled a hamstring just reading this post!

lizspin said...

my kids still talk about the time I did a somersalt in the pool and just about threw up afterwards. . .

Our bodies are not what they were when we were younger!

3 Bay B Chicks said...

At least you didn't injure your hands. I would hate for you to be unable to type! :)

-Francesca

Laoch of Chicago said...

I would suggest croquet.

WhisperingWriter said...

Ouch!

I imagine I'd break something.

Zip n Tizzy said...

If she likes slapstick you should show her the 3 stooges. The things she and her sisters could come up with to entertain you!
Glad you're all right.
I'm envious that your kids let you sing to them.
My children have banned my singing.

Yaya said...

Hahaha! You are an awesome mom!

Hit 40 said...

My husbands family only makes boys!! I would love to come tumble on your mat. Very fun. I like this much better than a couple blogs that have bragged about getting a stripper pole for their little girls 16th!! Nice!!!

And I do type NICE!!! I am sure that did not realize it was an insult.

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

I love it! And now you've given me an idea to ease out of the endless 'Hey Mama?' modes at bedtime...but I probably should limit it to the goofy singing and not try to do something athletic...or I might hurt myself, too! ;)

Anonymous said...

Another stupid mom's blog. Just what we need. THANKS FOR SHARING.

CK said...

ENCORE! ENCORE!

bluecottonmemory said...

"Hey, Mom" is my new name. Not mom, but "Hey Mom." I'm not sure I like it. It always requires extra hard thinking.

My little guys don't always like to let go at bedtime. They don't like being alone and left to the results of their thoughts and imaginations. I'm the security blanket that keeps all things away: boredome, sleep, and things that go bump in the dark. Of course, I have boys. We do songs and stories, but definitely no gymnastics!

What a lovely mom you must be! How sweetly you end the evening.

smitty13 said...

Who is that idiot anonymous poster? Do you get this a lot? The rest of us like it just the way it is!!!

Michelle said...

Great post.

I stopped because you have about the cutest profile pic in the history of profile pics.

Adorable!

Lisa (Jonnysmommy) said...

I winced when I read "there was a pop." I thought for sure this post would end with a trip to the ER (and not the one with cute doctors).

Glad to know it didn't. Seriously, though...I can injure myself sleeping. Apparently anyhow, because this morning I woke up with the worst pain in my back...pretty sure I slept wrong.

yeah, so I'm not athletic either.

faemom said...

I forgot what comedian said it, but We spend our youth leanring things that we cannot do in our middle age.

LadyFi said...

Laughing again... My kids love it when I do ballet - but I keep it simple these days.

ScoMan said...

I remember my mum's shock and horror when my niece had me diving around the backyard after balls she was throwing. What is it about children that cause us to push our physical limits and end up hurting ourselves?

thedomesticfringe said...

My son is king of those "hey mommies" at bedtime. I think I need to take some parenting lessons from you.
-FringeGirl

Pam said...

I am very impressed. About 10 years ago I decided to do a cartwheel - as a demonstration to my girls who were trying to learn. Mind you I was a cheerleader in HS. I could cartwheel like nobody's business. Anyway, can you say "head rush". Seriously. I needed to lie down afterward. And THAT was the end of my sports career.

Sandy said...

So, you WANTED us to laugh at this, right??

Ryan Ashley Scott said...

You never fail to make me laugh - and give me parenting tips. At the same time.

msprimadonna67 said...

I get "Hey mommy?" from all three of mine every night. Lots of the time, I give in way too many times, cuz they're so cute and sweet and funny just when they're avoiding going to sleep. It's like the antidote to surly. (Of course, the surly recharges while they're sleeping overnight. Ain't no one in my house that's a morning person.)