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Thursday, August 20, 2009

Here we go again

This weekend I am going on another adventure with my eldest daughter's Girl Scout troop. Last time I camped with them we went to the Outer Banks. The plan was to tour a famous lighthouse, and go horseback riding on the beach.


It was an adventure and I was looking forward to it with anticipation.

***
I was most excited about the horseback ride on the beach. The day of the ride was soon upon us and the stars seemed aligned for a wonderful trip. The weather was nothing short of perfection, and the scenery was breathtaking.


The ride began as wonderfully as I had imagined it would. When we finally made it through the dunes and onto the beach I caught my breath in awe of the pristine, untouched sand sparkling in the crisp sunlight.


I was literally having the time of my life. All I can say is I must have been a little giddy when the guides asked if we wanted to let the horses "loose," because I agreed enthusiastically. The guides explained that the horses were not trail horses, and would do as we asked. If we wanted to gallop? Just give them a kick. If we felt uncomfortable? We were welcome to continue at our current walk/trot pace.


The moment the horses were given their freedom everything went wrong. One of the girls in the rear of the group was riding a pony. I have no idea exactly what happened back there. What I do know is that her pony decided it was running the Kentucky Derby. That stupid pony blasted through the group of horses in front of him at full throttle. And immediately the mellow horses on the beach were transformed into a stampeding herd.


I held my own for about 20 seconds of this bedlam before I was yelling WHOA, and yanking back on the reins for all I was worth. The horse's eyes bulged a bit as a result of my yanking and screaming, but otherwise he was unfazed. If this was the Kentucky Derby? My horse was in it to win it.


At this point I was screaming bloody murder, flying along the beach at break neck speed, and gaining on the evil pony that started this whole mess. I was also pretty sure I was going to either fall off the horse, or get a black eye. Protective helmets are important but when riding uncontrollable horses on the beach, never underestimate the importance of a sturdy bra.

In a fit of desperation I dropped the reins, grabbed hold of the horse's mane, closed my eyes, and held on for dear life. One of the guides finally caught the demon-pony and wrestled it to submission. The demon-pony stopped, and miraculously, so did the rest of the horses. The balance of the ride, thankfully, was uneventful.

***

And so here I sit. One year later. On the cusp of another adventure. I'm definitely excited. It seems like it should be the trip of a lifetime. But there's a tiny part of me wondering what in the heckity-heck I've gotten myself into this time. You have to admit, stupidity happens an awful lot around here. It's more the rule than the exception.


Wanna know where I'm going? I'll fill you in on all the gory details...


Tomorrow.

50 comments:

Tsquared417 said...

Oh, Kathy B!, you make me laugh. Black eyes...you're so funny. Good luck this weekend. Can't wait to hear all about it.

Suzy said...

Whoever rode that pony was a HOT MESS and ruined it for the rest of you.

That happened to me on a ride in Hawaii and the horse was just proving I was not the boss of him.

Think again Horsey; I know how to ride. It was the most thrilling and scariest ride of my life. I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

Nancy@ifevolutionworks.com said...

Have a great time. Looking forward to reading about this year's adventures!

Tammy Howard said...

Why Kathy B., you tease!

And FWIW, I NEVER underestimate the importance of a sturdy bra. Never.

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

I had to suppress the laughter that was so desperately trying to escape...why? Because then I'd have to read your post out loud to hubby to share the laughter...only he's afraid of horses, so he'd be all "See? I told you horses are evil!" thing...so I'll have to keep this gem to myself... ;)

And the part about never underestimating the importance of a sturdy bra? Amen to that! ;)

Looking forward to reading more about your adventure! :)

countryfriedmama said...

And did those poor girls earn their, "I'm-too-afraid-of-horses-now-to-speak-of-them" badges?

If my troop had been this fun, I might have made it past Brownies.

Lindy said...

Laughing out loud over here - literally.

Love the sports bra reference.

But again, I feel the urge to point out that this is precisely why I don't normally venture outside.

The Good Cook said...

What a good mom! Can't wait to hear all about it. Make sure you pack that sturdy bra as there are so many adventures that require one!

TKW said...

You go, Pocahontas! Can't wait to hear the gory bits!

ymK said...

I'm laughing out loud here. Loved how you emphasized the importance of a sturdy bra.
Can't wait to read about your new adventure.

Grant said...

The thing to remember about horses is that a bullet to the head will stop any behavior problem, and they taste good grilled with a little steak sauce on the side.

Kristina P. said...

I think I would cry.

Michele said...

I don't really believe in karma, but you must have been a VERY. BAD. GIRL. in a former life.

I hope you have another unforgettable trip. LOL

i am the diva said...

LOL that's the best horseriding story i've ever heard!!
goodluck!

Laoch of Chicago said...

Wow, hopefully you are going someplace peaceful.

Hit 40 said...

Should we ban Grant? LMAO!!

A sports bra is a good idea!!! Well played.

The only vivid event that I remember from girl scout camp was Julie peeing on the wood floor of the tent in the middle of the night. None of us wanted to go to the bathroom with her. It was too cold to get out from under the covers. She was too chicken to go on her own...

of course we told on her the next day. She had to scrub the floor of the tent. I feel kinda bad as an adult. I should have gotten my skinny ass outta bed for her.

for a different kind of girl said...

Ha! In life, as in horseback riding, never ever underestimate the power of a sturdy bra!

the ungourmet said...

This sounds very scary! I can't believe you're thinking of doing it again!

Stephanie Faris said...

I've never been horseback riding on the beach. I'm a little scared now! I always end up with the horse that strays off the track the second it sees water!

Pam said...

THAT is the funniest thing I have read in a long time. (The tears are seriously running down my face.) I can just picture you flying down the beach, screaming and being battered by your ta'tas! Hysterical. Can't wait to hear what adventure you are off to now. I'm sure it will be hilarious, whatever it is!

WhisperingWriter said...

Oh eek!

I'd also be screaming. Horses tend to hate me.

I hope you have a wonderful adventure!

The Blonde Duck said...

I've always wanted to go horseback riding on the beach. Since I'm dillusional, I still want to go.

passions and soapboxes said...

Good Luck! I mean it! Good Luck! If I say it enough times maybe it will happen.

Susie said...

Gosh!! Your life is way more exciting than mine! I hope you have a fun and uneventful trip this time:-)

passions and soapboxes said...

Oh and there is no way your getting black eyes. You have said before that your "petite" in the post about the dress.Probably still hurt though not to mention the fear factor. Good Luck!
Good Luck!Good Luck!Good Luck!Good Luck!Good Luck!Good Luck!Good Luck!Good Luck!Good Luck!

peewee said...

I KNOW! I went on a ride in my twenties. Had NO idea what I was doing. Was TOLD the horse was their MELLOWEST/oldest horse and would be easy peasy. This was a Riding place, and I got NO Helmet. SO there we are moseying along and Boom...Horse in front TAKES THE F*CK OFF and so does mine. i am beyond terrified. Everything went blurry. I had no idea what to do. The horse then starts going FASTER in a giant spurt AND is rounding a huge bush. Not only do I scrape my whole left side from the bush, but as he turned I got THROWN off.

I used to LOVE horses! LOVE LOVE LOVE. And now I am physically terrified. :(

And yes, I have gotten on a another one. Years later. Who tripped and threw me head on.

So, my horsey days are OVAH. May as well ask me to ride a snake.

Sorry for this Jane Austen comment.

Grand Pooba said...

I was always the one that wanted to let my horse break free and run away from the other trail horses. But no, it never happend. I've never actually galloped on a horse and now I'm kind of glad about that!

ck said...

And here I always thought it would be romantic to ride a horse along the water's edge. Guess I shouldn't do it while in NC next month, huh?

Nocturnal Queen said...

"...never underestimate the importance of a sturdy bra."

lol So true.

angie said...

I can't wait to hear all about it!

blueviolet said...

I was standing on the beach watching you and completely cracking up as I read this!

Can't wait until tomorrow. :)

Jen said...

I hope that you have a good time.

LiLu said...

Awww, JEALOUS! Have a blast, lady! :-)

Zeemaid said...

at least it's always memorable. I absolutely love the idea of riding a horse on the beach. How cool is that. You guys get to do really great trips!

Have fun...

shame on for keeping us in suspense *wink*

Gibby said...

Sh*t. We just sat down and planned our Brownie year and penciled in a camping trip involving horseback riding. I obviously need to cancel it now.

Can't wait to hear all about your trip!

naptimewriting said...

I didn't *want* to laugh my ass off at this, but it's your fault. You wrote it too well. Between the pony and the bra, I'm still laughing. Sorry. Again, your fault.

MadMad said...

OK. Seriously. I have to stop reading you. You're way too nice. You grow tomatoes, take your kids on Scouting outings... It makes me feel bad about sitting, which is really my activity of choice.

Though that bra thing gave me quite the giggle.

Anonymous said...

stupid

Kathy B! said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kathy B! said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown Mami said...

Ouch! You made my boobs hurt.

Helene said...

I was really trying hard not to giggle as I read this but then I totally lost it at your mention of needing a sturdy bra when riding a horse on the beach.

I hope your next adventure was fun...can't wait to hear about it!

ScoMan said...

The only time I've been on a horse my horse did the same thing, went into an absoulute fit and started running out of control. In my instance though, it did maintain enough control to run under a low branch which caught me in the ribs and knocked me to the ground.

And do you know? It was MY fault. I got a lecture from the guy running the show and a lot of "What did you do to set it off like that?.. You must have done SOMETHING!"

I have sore ribs right now just thinking about it.

Yaya said...

I love horses!

Christie-The ChatterBox said...

Just when I thought this was going to be a peaceful tranquil post of reflection, Kathy makes me guffaw! Sturdy bra? ROFLMAO! Love it! I can't wait to find out where you are going and what antics are waiting to happen!

Sandy said...

Now that sounds like fun! Until the evil pone started the stampede, that is.

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

Befoe this summer, I had never heard of the outer banks. Now, after a few blogger's posts, I just have to go.

msprimadonna67 said...

"Protective helmets are important but when riding uncontrollable horses on the beach, never underestimate the importance of a sturdy bra."

--Best thing I've read all day!!

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