Boredom

Sigh. I hate to admit it, but I am bored. Really bored. The kids are back at school. Hubby is up in his office working. I, on the other hand, have accomplished nothing. Well, I have let the rabbit out twice to zip around on the screened porch, but I'm not really sure that counts as accomplishing anything. There is a long list of stuff that I could be doing such as running to Costco, cleaning some portion of the house, staining the four Adirondack chairs that are sitting in the garage, or even putting on makeup! You get the idea.

I think I have a problem. I am at my best when life is coming at me at warp speed. I like to think on my feet. I like tight timelines. I like that niggling feeling that a schedule is so tight that it just might not be do-able, and yet secretly knowing that I can make it happen. I think this is probably why I have a tendency to constantly over-book myself. It's definitely the way we ended up having four kids in the space of four years! My hypothesis is that, in the absence of real chaos, I create chaos. Take today for example. The kids will be home by 3:30, and Rachel has to get her hair cut before school pictures tomorrow. Instead of doing some pre-work on dinner I am blogging. Of course, I don't even know what we are going to have for dinner yet so I guess to do pre-work would be to put the proverbial carriage before the horse. Inevitably the kids will come home from school tired and hungry. They'll need help with their homework, and they'll have a full day's worth of stories to share. And in the midst of all this I'll rush around making dinner. It's a far cry from chaos, and yet I could choose to make it easier and yet I don't.

I'm not sure what label goes on this type of personality. Maybe it is just a flaw. The thing that makes me the most crazy is that I recognize what I am doing, but I don't choose to make a different/better choice. I am constantly yammering at my kids about the choices they make and how those choices shape our lives. Practice what you preach much, Mom?

I need something to keep me busy. Maybe a hobby. I already have a pet. Granted it's kind of a stupid pet - sorry, Super Bun - but it still counts. I thought I was pregnant last month, and that scared the snot out of me. Clearly more babies isn't the right option. Next week my volunteer schedule at the school kicks into gear. Hopefully that will help, because days like today drive me bananas. I had all the time in the world.... and I wasted it!