Come play in my world for awhile!

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Rodin? Not today

I had a post about the National Art Gallery and Rodin that I was writing for today. I got stuck mid-way through and started reading blogs instead of writing my own... and that's when I ran across a trivia post at by the fabulous Inktopia. Essentially you throw your name into a trivia generator and it spits out a top 10 list about you. After reading Inktopia's list I immediately abandoned Rodin in favor of this:


Ten Top Trivia Tips about KathyB!!

1) KathyB! is black with white stripes, not white with black stripes. Well, duh! Everyone who's seen my hair before I get the roots touched-up knows this.

2) KathyB! is 984 feet tall. This is absolutely true... If you get rid of the 9, and divide 84 by 2, and then add 23 and convert the whole thing to inches this is exactly right!

3) Humans share over 98 percent of their DNA with KathyB!. I am the missing link! I always knew I'd make history.

4) The International Space Station weighs about 500 tons and is the same size as KathyB!. I'm not normally quite this large but Easter combined with lots of good food consumed in Washington, D.C.? Well, let's just say I'm well on my way.

5) The smelly fluid secreted by skunks is colloquially known as KathyB!. Now that's just rude. You can say a lot of things about KathyB!, but I smell gooooood.

6) A kathyB!ometer is used to measure KathyB!. I think it's time to start working out again. It's never a good sign when they name a measuring device in your honor.

7) Never store kathyB! at extreme temperatures! At extreme temperatures KathyB! is definitely unstable and prone to combustion and fiery outbursts. KathyB! prefers a constant temperature of 72 degrees and only indirect sunlight. She also prefers to be hand-fed grapes chocolate by men who resemble Adonis Brad Pitt and to recline on soft lounges while sipping red wine.

8) There are now more than 4000 satellites orbiting KathyB!. My magnetic pull is amazing. The satellites are just the tip of the iceberg. You don't even want to know what else is orbiting around here.

9) When KathyB! is swallowed, she will enter the blood stream within twenty minutes. Yeah, but you don't need to worry about this because when's the last time you saw someone swallow something the size of the International Space Station?! But if against all odds you do swallow KathyB!, do not induce vomiting. Instead remove yourself from the presence of small children, pour yourself a glass of wine, find a good book, and follow with a leisurely nap. If KathyB! is still present in your bloodstream then repeat process until your system is clear.

10) KathyB! will become gaseous if her temperature rises above -42°C. I 'm not going there. Either KathyB! will enter a vapor-state and become one with the environment around her, or there is going to be a really, really bad smell. Let's not find out.

Want to play along?! Go here...

57 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow. I knew I liked you because you are different. Just didn't realize how different.

mommakin said...

Fun! And also? Who comes up with these things?!?

Anonymous said...

I've seen this one around. It cracks me up every time.

Enjoy your trip! Isn't the Gallery of Art amazing, but totally overwhelming at the same time?

Unknown said...

Kathy B is never dull! Enjoy your trip.

for a different kind of girl said...

Your trivia list was a bit of a double-edge sword, wasn't it? :)

We recently went to our art center and stood in line for more than an hour to stand in front of American Gothic for a few seconds. It was worth it. I love art centers. Enjoy your visit!

Shawn said...

Bwahahahaha!

You know that comment about wishing we could be neighbors and I was sure that we'd be BFFs? Umm, I take it back.

:::snort::::

i am the diva said...

LOL funny!

Ryan Ashley Scott said...

Bahaha - you make swallowing KathyB! sound like way too much fun.

evenshine said...

You got lots of science-oriented ones! Must mean something! I was hee-hawing silently during class at the gaseous comment.

Grand Pooba said...

20 minutes? Pfsh, it happened faster than that!

Anonymous said...

So funny! #8 is so so true...all of us in blogger world are rotating around you waiting for more! :)

Helene said...

Kathy, you are hilarious....have you thought about being a stand-up comic?? Seriously....you'd have people begging for more!!!

I just love your sense of humor!!

Lana@The Kids Did WHAT?! said...

Love it. I played today too! (Thanks!!)
You are much wittier than I am, that's for sure!

Ink said...

KB, that's hilarious...and I love your addition of comments to them. Funnnnnnny!

I want a picture of the 4000+ satellites. I bet you're super sparkly.

Kristina P. said...

KathyB! is one awesome chick.

Minxy Mimi said...

OMG!!! So funny! I love it, my DNA buddy!

Minxy Mimi said...

OMG!!! So funny! I love it, my DNA buddy!

Gibby said...

Number 5 is precious. You could have used this the other day with that mean old lady making fun of your coconuts. I mean coconuT. I mean, granddaughter.

ck said...

"Cindy is the only one of the original Seven Wonders of the World that still survives!"

This must be why we never wound up seeing each other while you were here. I was just informed that I'm sold out for the next month.

The Blonde Duck said...

I love this! It was so funny!

Anonymous said...

These are just the things I needed to know about KathyB! Thanks for sharing them.

Anonymous said...

There seems to be some kind of theme about your largesse going on with these trivia tips. LOL

ScoMan said...

I was trying hard not to giggle all the way through this so as not to tip off my coworkers that I'm not working.

Due to the strange wheezing sounds I made instead they now look at me like a mental patient.

Hit 40 said...

It would be more fun if it spouted out maybe a mixed drink named after you :-)

joanofalltrades said...

These were cute! #7 is my favorite.

Ann Imig said...

Do you need a seat extender for all those satellites?

Cassie said...

My comment has nothing to do with your current post. I just wanted to let you know that I have now gone back and read your ENTIRE blog. I am such a stalker :-D Anywho it was great reading. All in preparation. I am working on the goody bag you won from me a while back. :-D Be afraid be very afraid.....

Ginger said...

Awesome. LOVE your sense of humor and creativity after each "thing!"

And I'm totally jealous of your magnetic pull. Mine's a bit weak these days, as seen in the dazed and confused looks I get in class..

theUngourmet said...

I love 7, 8 and 9! That is very funny!

You are welcome! :0)

ymK said...

so funny lol! apparently, you and I are the same size and weigh 500 tons according to this trivia.

tlc said...

Love your added comments, they're as funny as the trivia!

AiringMyLaundry said...

I'd love it if a man fed me chocolate. Mmmm. I think he'd get annoyed with me though. I'd be all, "keep it coming!" and he'd be like, "Haven't you had ENOUGH?"

theUngourmet said...

This is awesome! My husband's was actually funnier than mine! I might post his instead! Apparently, he could give birth 10 days after his own birth and was born pregnant!(Who would have thought?)

Nydia said...

LMAO!!!! LMAO!!!

So wait! Does this mean that if you, say, lift your arm -- you can get HBO?

I sooo want to play too ...

bernthis said...

I hope I do swallow Kathy B. just to have a reason to take a nap

Banteringblonde said...

Ok all the number/math stuff got me flustered and now I'll need to come back again tomorrow LOL

LadyFi said...

Hilarious! As for that gaseous thing.. you might explode seeing as you're the same size of the International space station!

LCO's said...

I do always smell something when I visit your blog. I am also 984 feet tall with no dividing required. We have much in common except the skunk smell, that is all you.

zelzee said...

I would love to be 984 feet tall..........then I wouldn't have to hem everything I buy!!!!

D said...

These are really fun.

Love it.

Anonymous said...

I love your answers! I'm still laughing. lol

Anonymous said...

This is too funny and I'm sure you don't smell like a skunk...at least I hope you don't. Although after a very long day with kids..the kind where you didn't have a chance to do any personal maintenance...let alone shower...(forget I said anything)

Court D said...

Too fun, I'll have to give it a try.

Unknown said...

Love this - especially #2. You're so darn witty!

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Randomly Elly said...

Thank you for the giggle today!!! I left ya something on my blog :)

Debbie said...

I'm confused by the gaseous thing. You'll just have to go into much great detail for us on that one.

Stesha said...

Kathy B, that was too funny!

Hugs and Mocha,
Stesha

Kate said...

I love it. Great post. I agree Kathy is a great name!!! Have a super weekend.

Sapphire said...

Hilarious!!!

Unknown said...

LOL! I am going to have to try this one! I will let you know when I do (because of course I will be linking to this post)

Anonymous said...

These are so funny!

I often get lost in others' blogs and forget to blog on my own!

Joel said...

This is awesome! Just found you from "Always Home and Uncool".

I'm rushing away to do this right now. Will link back.

MadMad said...

Oh, so much better than Rodin! Good choice by you. I'm too afraid to play, though - my Easter candy consumption has rendered me far larger than a space station...

Anonymous said...

Wow. You are uniquely made!!

Monica said...

I had to see for myself. Cool facts! LOL! It's great to know you're never too old to learn more about yourself. :-)

Stacy Uncorked said...

Oh that is just way too funny! I love your commentary that you added, too! ;)

I'll definitely have to do this one - I'll let you know when I do, 'cuz I'll blame you for the idea! (grin!!)

Unknown said...

I love this! YOu are so funny!